


One Shots

by thestoryofme13



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-02-16 07:50:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 28,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13049706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestoryofme13/pseuds/thestoryofme13
Summary: These are just little oneshots that I created based on various stuff that can also be found on my Tumblr which is of the same name as on here





	1. New Rules

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Self-doubt and self-loathing, break-up, bad relationship, implied nsfw, alcohol mention 
> 
> Concept: Based on the song New Rule by Dua Lipa specifically, "One, don't pick up the phone  
> You know he's only calling 'cause he's drunk and alone  
> Two, don't let him in  
> You have to kick him out again  
> Three, don't be his friend  
> You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning  
> And if you're under him  
> You ain't getting over him"

Roman knew that Virgil was struggling to cope with his bad breakup and he wanted to help but neither of them could've realized how difficult that would be. While Roman always took pride in having the last word and being fully comfortable in who he whether he was single or in a relationship. Virgil, on the other hand, had lost himself a little in this relationship. He was such a people pleaser that in order to appease his significant other he nearly changed everything about himself and lost himself in the process.

Roman approached the anxious sides door cautiously, almost deciding that anxiety could handle himself on his own. The prince rethought that once he heard the soft sobs. Roman knocked loudly hoping that Virgil would hear him. The sobs stopped right after the first knock with a cracking voice replying in response, "Who is it?" Roman's heart broke at hearing the sorrow in his voice. Roman had to be strong though and replied, "It's Roman, can I come in?" He heard the door unlock and took that as invitation. He was not prepared to see the dark trait sitting on the floor with his phone in the very dimly lit room. He went over and sat next to Virgil adding a little bit of distance not wanting to overwhelm the other. Roman was curious what Anxiety could possibly be doing on his phone so he leaned slightly into the anxious trait to look at his screen, once he saw what was happening he grabbed the phone from Virgil. Roman jumped up with the phone in his hand, "Virgil are you texting your ex?" Virgil looked mortified that Princey knew he was so weak but nodded sheepishly, then spoke, "He texted me first. It would be rude not to respond." Roman rolled his eyes at the anxious trait's lame excuse, "May I look at what you two have said?" Upon getting a hesitant nod from Virgil, Roman started scrolling before the other could change his mind. What he saw nearly killed him, from what he could tell Virgil's ex had drunk texted the anxious trait one night looking for company and Virgil had jumped at the chance to do anything that may get them back together. Roman couldn't take it anymore, he never knew the anxious side had such a low outlook of himself. He sat back down in front of Virgil this time, "Did you end up going over there?" Virgil just looked at the floor and avoiding eye contact, "I'll assume that is a yes. Virgil listen to me, I know this break up is tough on you but you need to be strong. It is going to hurt like hell for a while but what you are doing is not healthy! You are worth so much more than a drunk text at two in the morning. This guy was not the one for you but that doesn't mean you are undeserving of love. Do not believe that you have to change in order to be deserving of love. We are blocking his number because this back and forth between you will only end up with you in his bed again." Roman swiftly deleted his number and looked at the anxious side, he was crying. Roman looked slightly uncomfortable not really understanding what caused this new wave of crying. Unsure of what exactly to do he put a gentle hand on anxiety's knee and spoke, "Did I say something wrong?" Virgil chuckled, "Wrong? You said everything right! How are you so secure in who you are?" Roman thought about that, "I've never felt like an outsider or unwanted so there was no reason for me to doubt my purpose or my worth. I understand that myself and sometimes the other can make you feel like you are unwanted or no needed but we are very wrong. We never meant to make you hate yourself or think you don't belong." Neither of them know exactly what to say just sat there in comfortable silence enjoying the others existence.


	2. Honey You Talk Too Much-Analogical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairings: analogical fluff
> 
> Concept: based one the song talk too much by coin. Specifically this lyric: “You know I talk too much  
> Honey, come put your lips on mine and shut me up  
> We could blame it all on human nature  
> Stay cool, it’s just a kiss”

Logan was yammering on about how Thomas needs to stop procrastinating, you know when he just talks for several minutes straight. They were trying to make a Sanders Sides video but Logan wasn’t allowing anyone else to participate. Virgil had finally had enough moved from his place on the stairs and stood in front of the logical side and kissed him. Logan didn’t pull away or flinch but was instead dumbfounded and at a loss for words. Virgil finally pulled away and looked at Logan, “you know you talk too much. But apparently kissing you makes you shut up.” Logan looks like he’s about to say something then Virgil interrupted him, “Don’t worry teach, it was just a kiss. I just wanted you to shut up for once in your life!” Virgil was very pleased with how that went until he turned around and found that Patton looked like he was about to pass out from excitement and that Roman just looked confused. Thomas, on the other hand, looked pleased that someone had finally found a way to shut up his logical side.


	3. No Shame-Analogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is literal fluff, some of this is based on something I did to someone today. Just let me have my fluff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Anxiety

Logan was sitting in the common room playing on his laptop, he was trying to learn this new software, supposedly it was to create a house or some other sort of structure. The problem was that it wasn’t the most user-friendly, and he had that the tutorial was for people less sophisticated than he. He was moving boxes that were supposed to be the floor but anytime he moved one thing the perspective changed or he ends up with five of something a certain shape.

Virgil walked in from the kitchen and saw Logan, he was hesitant but he really wanted attention and the other two were busy dealing with Thomas. Virgil gathered up what little courage he had, and walked over to Logan. With his hand outstretched he said, “My hand is freezing!” Logan takes it and looks at the anxious side and says, “I’ll say.” But goes back to what he was doing on the computer, Virgil watched and then a look of panic comes over the logical side and he blurts out, “I forgot to make the schedule for this week it was due yesterday!” Virgil’s anxiety increases exponentially at the loud noise and the panic oozing off the other, he focuses on his breathing and looks at Logan, “Well why didn’t you do it last night?” Logan blushes and avoids eye contact with Virgil, “I lost track of time, while I was playing a video game and then by the time I peered at my watch it was 3:30 a.m. and I was exhausted so I went to bed, forgetting about the new schedule momentarily and had to get up at 7:30.” Virgil only then took in the logical sides’ appearance he did look quite tired; his eyes were bloodshot and his voice was groggy but other than that he looked like his usual self. Virgil turned toward Logan, “Well if you want I can help you.” Logan nodded and Virgil inched closer to the Logical side, he was very aware that their legs were touching but he quite enjoyed the subtle human contact. He looked at Logan out of the corner of his eyes to see if he minded, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care, so he left his leg where it was. It only took about fifteen minutes for the two of them to get the schedule taken care of, Virgil looked at his phone to check his calendar knowing that events were coming up helped him prepare and made sure to make Thomas early.

Once the schedule was done, Virgil was only slightly frustrated that Logan refused to give him the attention he wanted but he didn’t want to be a bother so he decided to do something subtle. The human contact and closeness of their legs was still happening but he craved more. He put out his right hand near Logan’s face and said, “Help.” Logan looked at Virgil and took his hand and held it between his. Virgil not wanting it to end, “Why are you so warm and can you please share?” Logan looked at the anxious side, “Technically we both have the same body temperature so there is no reason I should be warmer, and I’m not sure how to share body heat.” Virgil rolled his eyes, closed the computer and moved it to the floor, then placed his head in Logan’s lap, staring up at the logical side. It had finally clicked for Logan, “You know next time you want physical attention just ask,” he said with a wink. He leaned down and kissed the anxious side’s nose.


	4. Dance With Me-Platonic Royality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: Based on the song All About Us by He is We specifically this lyric “I’ll spin you around, won’t let you fall down. Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: overwhelmed
> 
> Pairings: Platonic or romantic Roman/Patton (The song is romantic but I’m writing it to be read either way.)

It had been a long day for the Roman, he had been trying to help Thomas rehearse lines for his new play. Learning the lines was usually something Logan helped with but he was busy dealing with recreating the schedules to accommodate this new obligation, while the theatre was not the logical sides’ favorite Logan had the focus and attention span. Whereas Roman would try and get everything perfect before the lines were memorized causing them to spend close to ten minutes on one page, it was the perfectionist in Princey. Roman mainly helped Thomas develop character and practice different deliveries for lines and that he very much enjoyed. Currently Roman was in the commons room trying to wind down by watching the rain out the window but he was just emotionally drained. He had pushed Thomas probably harder than he should have and frustrated the both of them when it wasn’t exactly what he wanted and forced Thomas to try again.

Patton had woken up from his sleep sensing that something was up with one of the others and figured he should probably check. He got up from bed and decided to head to the kitchen for some hot chocolate, he knew that Logan would scold him since it had caffeine and would not help him fall asleep, but he didn’t care it seemed to help so he made two cups in case whoever needed help also required assistance to fall asleep. He was shuffling down the hallway when saw a figure standing in the commons. He could sense that whoever was standing there was the reason he was woken up. He approached slowly but so as to not scare the other he spoke a bit before reaching the commons, “Hey, kiddo what’s the matter?” Patton was still unaware who it was but hoped they had heard him. Roman jumped slightly at the voice mentally trying to check to make sure he was presentable, “I’m fine, Pat, just a long day.” His voice coming out shakier than he would’ve liked, plastered a smile on his face to show that he was fine. Patton approached the creative side and put a reassuring hand on Roman’s shoulder before speaking again, “You realize that when any of you are experiencing emotions I can feel it, right?” Roman looked in shock at the moral side he had never considered that since he was the embodiment of the heart and some deep emotions that he would be able to feel the other sides’ emotions, he suddenly felt naked and vulnerable. Roman looked at the floor then spoke, “Well I wasn’t lying Pat, it has been a long day. I just feel really overwhelmed and that I may have done more bad than good when trying to help Thomas today.” Patton seemed to understand that Roman and Thomas did not always play nicely when it came to memorization and creative differences concerning theatre. Patton kneeled in front of Roman so the creative side had to look at him then said, “You know what helps me feel better after a bad day? Dancing!” Roman just chuckled and shook his head, “Patton you know I can’t dance.” Morality looked at the fanciful side, “You don’t have to be able to dance in order to have fun!” He stood up and placed one hand on Roman’s waist while the other held his hand. Roman looked at Patton and said, “I’m just going to look foolish. I don’t want to Patton.” Patton wasn’t having it, it was two in the morning and until this was resolved he would be unable to go back to sleep. Patton’s dancing skills were mediocre at best but he didn’t care what others thought of him since he was having a good time. He looked at Roman and said, “Just let me lead. I won’t let you fall. If you step on my feet it won’t bother me. I just want you to be happy and forget about your bad day.” The minute these words came out of Patton’s mouth he started twirling Roman, it had looked a little awkward and uncoordinated at first but eventually Roman got the hang of it, only stepping on Patton’s toes a couple of times. Eventually Roman was giggling and just allowing himself to follow whatever motion Patton performed. He was actually enjoying himself, he was so thankful for Patton in that moment and that this could be an escape from his bad day.


	5. Better Now-Analogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: I’m a slut for analogical fluff, and somehow, I’m good at, also there isn’t enough. This is based off a dream I had this morning.

Logan and Virgil were having a movie day they were bickering over which movie they should watch. Logan had wanted something nerdy and Virgil, on the other hand, wanted a horror flick. Somehow after half an hour of Virgil peering over Logan’s shoulder at his laptop they had decided on Vampire Diaries, guess that meant neither of the two were moving anytime soon. Now why they had decided to watch a movie let alone a tv series on Logan’s laptop would be better than the TV in the commons would remain a mystery to both of them.

He was perfectly content sitting there, this thing they had going didn’t need a label but some days he wished they could just decide if they were dating, friends, or friends with benefits, for the love of god it should not be this difficult! They both enjoyed the other’s company there was something about being with someone who was rational, reasonable, and grounded in facts. Even though Virgil could overthink and jump to conclusions, at least the anxious side had Logan who helped him point out his illogical thinking and objectively tell him that his fears were farfetched; or on the off chance that Virgil was being rational, Logan was at least there to listen and give Virgil the positives that could happen and the statistics of something going wrong, there was something nearly comforting in hearing that the probability of something going horribly wrong was relatively low, statistics don’t lie people do.

Virgil in an effort to see better and because he was the embodiment of anxiety, anything he could do that would make him blend in and allow people to overlook him rather than single him out, he was slouching. They had made it through the first episode but Logan insisted on watching the credits and Virgil didn’t have the patience to deal with this all day. He looked up at Logan, moved toward the computer to skip to the next episode. Due to the way he was angled it required him to move his whole body, the saving grace was that the laptop had a touchscreen so he wouldn’t have to fight Logan for the trackpad. He moved slowly hoping that the logical side wouldn’t notice. Of course Logan noticed, he noticed everything Virgil did if his breathing shifted, anytime he would fidget, any change in demeanor caught Logan’s attention because he had developed feelings for his best friend, his near equal, someone he considered to be the calm in the madhouse that was run mainly on flamboyancy and emotion. Logan held his breath as Virgil leaned across to hit the play next episode prompt on the screen, he supposed that the sharp inhale had attracted the anxious sides’ attention and he mentally cursed himself for drawing unnecessary attention. Virgil had already fulfilled his purpose but Logan’s sudden inhale had made him turn his head toward the logical side, only then was he aware of the distance, or lack thereof between their lips. As he slid back to his spot he had to fight every urge to kiss Logan, so he thought he would experiment. What would happen if as he returned to his previous position his lips nearly brushed Logan’s, he secretly wondered what it would be like to actually kiss the other side? If Virgil had lost his balance at all he would’ve toppled onto Logan and their lips would’ve met, and if he had the confidence to meet the logical sides’ gaze he would’ve seen the blush that mirrored his own on the usually stoic trait. Virgil had finally returned to his previous position but was now incredibly anxious about how forward his actions moment ago had been, he looked at the ground and then spoke, “I’m sorry Logan, I really shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want to ruin what we have. You’re my best friend and I would probably be lost without you.” Logan chuckles and moves his hand so that he can raise Virgil’s head to meet his own gaze, something in the look Logan is giving him sends a shiver down Virgil’s spine that tells every ounce of him to run but he is paralyzed. Logan leans in, with every ounce of emotion that he has every repressed for the darker trait and all the research he has done on love, he is certain that the kiss would be classified as one between lovers that had passion. Logan had never known the passion for another person, for work and learning yes, but for someone to give him the same euphoric feeling of learning was astounding. They finally pull away after what feels like could have been hours and yet somehow it was not nearly enough for either of them. Logan looks at Virgil, with a look of love something Virgil never thought he would receive from another, and then says, “Why would ruin something good when we could make it so much better?” With that statement, Logan smirks and gives Virgil a cheeky wink before returning to the television show.


	6. Loved to Villian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: Virgil used to ask for human contact as he was developing but rejection took over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: anxiety mention and loathing, fear, rejection, public speaking, anxiety attack

Unlike the other sides, Virgil had matured into a whole new side as Thomas grew up. When Thomas was young child Virgil had come about but rather than embodying anxiety he represented fear, nothing too dark and sinister but like the fear of what might be under the bed or he was the reason that Thomas would bolt up from the basement after having turned off the light. However he did come much later than the others Thomas was probably around six when Virgil first started showing up before that Patton had taken care of the fears, but as Thomas grew older there were more things to be afraid of and that was a full-time job. The other sides had been apprehensive about Virgil’s late appearance since they had already been together for years, but they were accepting. Patton had always tried to empathize with the fears the anxious side brought up, Logan had always tried to give Virgil reasons why they had nothing to fear. There were times that Logan couldn’t come up with a logical reason that the fear was irrational and those were times that the sides would all make a pile in the commons and watch a Disney movie in hopes that whatever the scary thing was would go away. Roman was always the most apprehensive of Virgil even as young traits, but Roman always offered to vanquish whatever the “great beast” of the day was, which usually got a slight chuckle out of the panicked trait. While the other three weren’t always terribly fond of Virgil and his effects on Thomas they loved him anyway, they could tell that he was just trying to protect him and they all had the same fears.

One really bad day Thomas was home alone around the age eleven and he was winding down getting ready for bed when suddenly there was a noise from downstairs. Virgil noticed the noise first, freaked out was a nice way to put it. He told Thomas to hide in the closet until it had been determined that it was safe. Virgil went to get Patton for support as he was having some trouble breathing and seeing clearly due to the fear (anxiety) from the noise downstairs. Virgil always knew that Patton was willing to help him in a time of need and currently he really needed a hug or some sort of human contact. He made his way to the moral sides’ room and knocked, he was starting to tear up because he was so scared. Patton came to the door as if he was expecting the anxious trait, he enveloped the youngest side in a giant bear hug. Once Virgil’s breathing had steadied the two of them made their way to get Roman. Roman was the ego and the brave one, if they were going to check out the mysterious noise then they needed him. On the way to retrieve Roman they ran into Logan, who decided to list off the logical options of what it could have been and why there was no reason to be scared but from the way his voice faltered you could tell the noise rattled him. They finally found Roman in the commons then the four of them sunk down to Thomas’ room. They reassured him that it was going to be okay even though all four of them were scared more than they would like to admit. Roman took the lead with his sword to lead the other three down the stairs. They all crept slowly and quietly down the stairs and turned toward the kitchen which is where they assumed the noise came from, they slowly inched towards the kitchen from the staircase and saw the culprit. All four of them fell in a pile laughing at how silly they had been, upon hearing the noise Thomas had appeared at the top of the stairs and spoke, “Is it okay to come down now?” Virgil through his laughter was finally able to speak, “Yes, Thomas it’s fine. It was just foster” (spelling?) Thomas rolled his eyes and decided he didn’t want to join the pile downstairs but would rather get some much-needed sleep. He looked at the pile fondly and said, “Thank you guys for making sure it was safe and telling me what to do.” The sides had finally composed themselves, Logan spoke this time, “No need to thank us. Thank Virgil, he was the one who alerted the rest of us and told you what to do.” Virgil blushed, looked down at the floor, “You don’t have to thank me. This is my job after all.” The sides and Thomas all had a new found appreciation for Virgil and his never-ending task of keeping Thomas safe.

Flash forward to when Thomas was thirteen or so and Virgil had noticed something changed, the old fears were stupid and childish now. What took their place was social interactions, public speaking/theatre, and rejection. Thomas was planning to audition for a show at the urging of Roman and Patton. The moral side had urged Thomas to audition in an effort to meet new people and Roman had urged him to audition so that he could showcase his talent and share it with others to create joy. Virgil was hesitant because there was so much competition that he didn’t want Thomas to get hurt when the cast list was posted. The night before the audition Roman and Patton were with Thomas to help prepare him and give him the confidence he needed to succeed. Virgil was in his room thinking about all the ways this could go horribly wrong, what if he forgot the lyrics, what if people made fun of him, what if people were better than him, what if… Virgil could feel his breathing becoming shakier and finding it difficult to get air even though he was aware he was breathing. He knew that Patton would be with Thomas so he sunk down in hopes of finding comfort. When he appeared in Thomas’ bedroom he was shocked to see that Thomas was also having trouble breathing and was leaned against the wall in defeat. Upon hearing the arrival of another side Roman and Patton turned around to see Virgil and he watched their faces contort into anger and disappointment. Roman was the first to speak it came out in such a toxic sentence that Virgil thought he might die, “What did you do? He was doing just fine!” Virgil’s breathing only got more labored and he felt faint, he moved towards Patton for support but the moral side brushed him off. Virgil melted to the floor in a heap, “I don’t know what is happening! I was just thinking of all the ways that Thomas could get let down by this experience and how it is my job to keep him safe.” Roman rolled his eyes, “This isn’t dangerous. There is nothing to be afraid of, you are keeping him from doing this because you want him to be miserable.” Virgil was crying now which helped his breathing now, “I don’t want him to be miserable! This isn’t fear, I know fear, I am fear!” Logan appeared and looked at the side and host on the floor, “Virgil it seems that as Thomas has matured, fears have also changed. You and he are experiencing what I believe to be known as an anxiety attack. I believe you are now anxiety rather than fear.” Virgil had looked up feeling some relief that this experience had a name but all he really wanted was one of Patton’s hugs. He finally got himself off the floor and moved toward Patton excited to have human contact but he just crossed his arms, “Sorry Verge, you’re hurting Thomas, I can’t condone this behavior.” He shook his head slightly and looked exasperated. Virgil looked at the other two who were mimicking similar stances, it was then he knew that their friendship had changed. They were looking at him as if he was a villain or a disgusting food. Patton was the next one to speak, “Perhaps since you are of no use here you should just head back to the mind palace.” Virgil looked in awe at the Moral side never knowing him to be so withdrawn and cold towards someone. The other two nodded in agreement. Roman then spoke still seething, “You aren’t helping anyone here. We can handle this. You’re utterly useless and harmful to any dream that he will have.” Virgil couldn’t take the abuse anymore, he sunk down back to his room. He decided then that if they thought of him as the villain then he would live up to the title. He never did seek help again when he felt anxious or try to keep his anxiety from affecting Thomas. If they wanted to hate him he was at least going to give them a reason.


	7. Purely Science-Analogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: Logan wants to know what the limits of manifestation in the mindspace are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Cursing

Logan was trying to figure out what the limitations for manifestation in the mindspace were. He knew he could summon food and objects but what else. Logan thought for a minute, “Can I summon another person?” He looked at the clock it was near 2 a.m. he figured Virgil would probably still be awake. Logan thought really hard about the anxious side. He figured it probably wouldn’t work, that another person was too complicated to manifest. He had to imagine every detail of Virgil, the way his bangs fall in front of his face, the way he pulls his hoodie over his hands, the way he rubbed his neck when he was uncomfortable. All the cute little nervous ticks that Logan had told Virgil to stop, the picking of the fingernails, the tapping of his fingers, the leg bouncing, and the way he used his bangs to hide his face when he blushed or was nervous.

Logan had a fond memory of sitting next to Virgil, watching a movie in the commons, Virgil was fidgeting, it wasn’t that Virgil was uncomfortable per say but sitting for extended periods of time to help ease his anxiety he started bouncing his leg subconsciously, Logan was trying to pay attention to the movie but the anxious sides’ incessant need to bounce his leg was getting on his nerves. Finally, Logan reached over to and put his hand on Virgil’s bouncing leg, “I would appreciate if you would cease this illogical tick.” Virgil looked at Logan daring him to do something, “Make me, teach!” Logan moved from his seat and sat on Virgil’s lap, “Will this suffice,” he chuckled. Virgil smirked and pushed the logical trait to the floor but was pulled down on top of him, in his shock he squealed, which only caused Logan to laugh. There they laid, neither wanting to be the first to break contact.

Now he was focused on the task at hand with this glorious memory in mind, he focused on the memory and the spot in front of him and closed his eyes, not wanting to be disappointed he refused to open his eyes until he heard, “Logan what the fuck! If you wanted to see me you should’ve just come and got me! This is not fair or polite!” Logan opened his eyes and blushed realizing he had caught the anxious side at a bad time, “My apologies I didn’t realize it would work. It was purely for scientific research,” he smirked proudly that it had worked. He finally took in the sight in front of him Virgil didn’t have a shirt on, only had eyeshadow under one eye, and he had on purple sweatpants. Virgil was obviously slightly annoyed by being summoned out of his room while he was attempting to get ready for bed, but then matched his significant others’ smirk, “Are you enjoying the view?” Logan blushed unaware he was staring, “Sorry Verge, I just wanted to see if it would work.” Virgil approached Logan and put his arms around the others’ waist, “Well now that I’m here would you like me to stay?” Logan nodded, “I wouldn’t mind your company obviously.” From there the two went to bed, fell asleep in one another’s arms, both of them would definitely have to take advantage of being able to manifest the other at will. It would become a game.


	8. The Doctor Said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: Patton knows something is wrong with him but everyone says he’s fine. Base on the song “The Doctor Said” by Chloe Adams. Usually, I would insert the lyric that inspired it but the whole song fits. It also kind of goes with the video yesterday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Anxiety, self-loathing, heartbreak, hatred, depression, swearing

This break up had been tough on Patton, he knew that but he had to be strong for Roman. He could never show the others his negative emotions, he was supposed to be the positive one. The others and Thomas knew him as the one full of “rainbows and sunshine.” It was all a façade, at least at this point it was. Patton didn’t want to seek help but he knew he should. He sought out Virgil, he approached the anxious side’s door and knocked, a moment later Virgil appeared, “Do you need something?” Patton felt really nervous he hadn’t told anyone about these negative feelings, thinking they would just write him off and tell him to get over it, he was right. He went into Virgil’s room avoiding the spider curtains this time around, there was no way he would be able to say what he needed if he had to also endure the great spider threat once again. Virgil sat on the bed waiting for Patton to speak, he could feel the anxiety oozing off the moral side but did not want to pressure him to speak. Eventually, Patton started pacing not really knowing what to do or where to go so as he paced he started speaking, “Do you ever just feel like you won’t be happy again?” Virgil looked at the father figure in disbelief, “I mean yeah sometimes but that’s normal for me. Do you?” Patton stopped pacing and looked at the anxious side, “Of course not. I am Thomas happy emotions after all” he said as he plastered on the fake smile he had perfected. Virgil looked at the moral side quizzically, “Are you okay, Pat?” Patton was on the verge of tears, “No I am not, okay” he practically screamed. Virgil jumped at the noise but forced himself to listen. Patton came to sit on the bed next to Virgil, “You know how this breakup has been on us?” Virgil nodded knowing that all of them were trying to cope in the ways they knew. The room was definitely starting to effect Patton but there was no other safe place if they went to his room the room would force him to act happy. He needed to let someone in, he hoped Virgil would understand and help him. Virgil looked at Patton he was almost shaking, he wasn’t really sure what to do usually when someone had a problem they found Patton, no one ever sought Virgil out for help. He wasn’t really comfortable trying to physically comfort the other side so he just spoke softly, “Okay so what exactly is the matter?” hoping if he could get Patton to focus on one topic then it would be easier to get to the root of the problem. Patton sighed, “I can’t fall asleep without crying and thinking about all the good times we had with him, and how it would be so much easier to sleep if he were to share our bed.” Virgil internally groaned, “So you are the reason that I’ve had to fight Princey off every night from making an ass of Thomas?” Patton looked scared and distraught, “You know, never mind, we’ll figure it out.” With that Patton left the anxious sides’ room to return to his own. Virgil looked to where the moral side was seated just moments earlier, decided that Patton was probably fine, just overthinking the whole situation, while this was not like him, there was nothing wrong with Patton as far as Virgil was concerned. Virgil was certain that Patton was probably just having an off day, he’d go eat a cookie and be back to his annoyingly optimistic self later, there was no reason to worry one of the other sides would reign Patton in if he got too emotional.

He had known that no one was going to understand, he had been pretending to be okay for too long that the other believed he was truly incapable of negative emotions. What they didn’t know was a number of times his pillow had become a tissue to soak his tears, how food made his stomach lurch because he truly believed that since he wasn’t doing his job then he didn’t deserve food. He had done research on something called anti-depressants but he wouldn’t even know how to go about getting them, what if the others found out and realized he was negative like Virgil or it effected Thomas poorly! Everyone just keeps saying the same thing, it’s all in your head, it will get better just stop obsessing over it. He wished he could but he thought about all the things he could have done wrong or how maybe he didn’t give this significant other Thomas’ full attention. Everything in relationships was either Patton’s fault or Roman’s and they all knew that Roman had tried his hardest in this relationship, which must mean that Patton did something wrong.

How could they all be going through the same situation and yet somehow he felt so alone, everyone else had begun to pick up the pieces but Patton. Patton was causing Roman physical pain by his yearning for this past relationship, and it was stressing everyone else out by having to reign in the fanciful side. It was all Patton’s fault if he could just figure out how to get back to pretending to be okay maybe he would eventually return to normal. If he didn’t acknowledge the negative feelings, then did they exist? Patton was back in his room but it was different this time, somehow darker, he didn’t feel happy the minute he walked in. He was thankful to be able to actually embrace his feelings, with that he resigned himself to his bed and welcomed the sweet embrace of silence mixed with his sobs. He knew that all the feelings that Thomas had that were negative were his fault but he couldn’t stop anymore, he had to let it all out. It was exhausting pretending to be okay in order to make the others comfortable. Patton also knew that once he woke up in the morning he’d have to get up and plaster on that smile that he was known for in order to avoid anyone knowing something was wrong.


	9. Glasses-Analogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: Frustrated constricting glasses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Swearing

Virgil and Logan had been dating for quite some time now. Virgil was becoming increasingly irritated by his boyfriend’s glasses obscuring his attempts at affection, he was already uncomfortable and hesitant at being physically affectionate. Neither he nor Logan were overly fond of physical affection but as they became more comfortable with one another they grew to enjoy it. They both made sure to not overuse it though, little signs of physical affection were saved for special instances.

There was one day that Logan was reading a book in the commons, Virgil was telling Logan about a new conspiracy video he saw, but the logical side wasn’t paying attention and Virgil had enough. Virgil, had his head laying near Logan’s leg and looking up at the logical side, “Hey, Lo, Can I use some acid from your lab to see how long it takes to dissolve a body?” Logan was still fully engrossed in his book, “Uh-huh, sure Virge,” he said sort of dreamily. Virgil sat up and huffed, it’s not like anyone listened to him anyway, but this was his boyfriend! This called for drastic measures. Virgil got up off the couch and stood in front of Logan, not that his boyfriend noticed, he leaned in to place a kiss on his forehead. Logan flinched at the sudden contact, “What the hell Virge, you fogged up my glasses,” it was all said with mock anger. Virgil just rolled his eyes, “Lo you weren’t paying attention to me! I asked you if I could use acid to dissolve a body and you agreed! Which I may still want to do by the way.” Virgil smirked the look on Logan’s face was priceless, his boyfriend was blushing and speechless, “Huh I guess you do run out of things to say.” Logan had finally found his composure and grabbed at the smug looking trait in front of him, pulling him back onto the couch, “You know that is not fair. I was reading, you know how I get. I didn’t even know you came into the room, to be honest.” Virgil pushed off of Logan, “That’s somehow worse!” Logan wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, “I’m sorry Virgil. Truly, next time just politely remove my book.” Virgil was facing away from Logan but turned around, “Fine, but you owe me.” Virgil leaned in and placed another gentle kiss on Logan’s forehead. Logan groaned, “Virgil, you know how I feel about this affection. Why must you always do this, it requires me to clean my glasses every time.” Virgil looked at his boyfriend with a smirk, “You know exactly why I do this, this was a special time and I had to get your attention and now we are having a moment. Also, your glasses are annoying.” Logan pretended to be hurt, “FALSEHOOD!” Virgil was laughing, he thought only Roman could be overdramatic. Virgil had finally got his composure back, and he looked at Logan, “Well I can fix the glasses thing.” Quicker than Logan could process, Virgil had stolen his glasses and hid them in his back pocket, not that Logan could see though. Logan stood there staring at what he presumed was Virgil, “This isn’t funny Virgil!” Virgil was laughing, his boyfriend not being able to see instilled some confidence in the anxious trait, “Logan I’m going to try something new, okay?” Logan nodded somewhat hesitant but he trusted Virgil with everything he had. Virgil slowly approached his boyfriend and slid his arms around the others’ waist and placed his forehead against the others’. He kissed Logan’s forehead once more and then moved down to place a sweet kiss on Logan’s lips, what he didn’t expect was that Logan would return the kiss with so much passion. Logan’s hands found their way to Virgil’s hair, the kiss felt like an eternity and yet somehow no time had passed at all. Once they pulled away, Virgil looked at Logan, “See now if I did that while you were wearing glasses, you’d be angry because they would be fogged up.” Logan looked at Virgil, “That would be worth fogging my glasses up over. Now we aren’t going to make this a regular thing though, right?” Virgil reached into his back pocket to retrieve the Logical sides’ glasses and placed them back on his face, “Nah not a regular thing, but maybe more often.” Virgil was already in the right position so he placed another kiss on Logan’s forehead, then squealed and ran. Logan was cleaning his glasses quickly, “You’re going to get it, Virgil!” Logan came running after Virgil, once he finally caught up with the other side he tackled him to the floor, Logan had him pinned to the ground, “You’re a pain in the ass!” Virgil just laughed, “Yeah I know, but I’m YOUR pain in the ass.” Logan chuckled, moved down to place a gentle kiss on Virgil’s forehead but his glasses fell off his nose, “Okay so maybe you have a point. Maybe my glasses are a bit annoying.” Logan still had Virgil pinned but he was laughing too much and fell to the spot next to his boyfriend who was laughing just as hard.


	10. I'm to Blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is based on the post I made about Roman Nostalgia based on the new video, it will be angsty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman Nostalgia- Post  
> Okay, so Roman’s actions actually give me anxiety in this episode. Like I’ve been there, try to get your ex back because you miss their companionship or the way they made you feel. I don’t think I was ever close to the near-manic(?) State he was in. He’s trying his best to get back to good ol’ times when they were happy and probably over analyzing everything that Thomas could’ve done “wrong” in that relationship and be cursing himself for not trying harder. When in actuality he put in everything he had, and from what Logan says it was amicable and both people agreed, therefore, Roman shouldn’t blame himself. Maybe that is the problem is that with every failed relationship Roman feels he’s disappointed Thomas in not being confident enough or grand gestures are enough when there is so much more. He blames himself for everyone is the way they are in this current situation and he’s trying to fix it with these ideas that would never work or you shouldn’t do because the relationship is long since past.

Since the breakup Roman had been trying to think of ways to get Thomas’ former lover back. He was still trying to figure out why it ended in the first place, had he not told Thomas to do enough grand gestures? Was it possible that Roman was to blame for the end of the relationship?

They had just finished the filming of this new video, no one was listening to him or what he needed. He desperately needed someone to tell him that this wasn’t his fault, that the turmoil of their host and Patton was something that had to happen. He needed them to accept his ideas so that he could fix this situation, if he could get Virgil to just accept one of his ideas, maybe he could have Thomas win back the heart of his love, then this situation would cease, right? Virgil and Logan had to shut him up at any given chance, Virgil had made a comment about not wanting to come off creepy. While Logan had insisted that the breakup was amicable. If the breakup was mutual then how was it possible for them all to feel so awful?

He had gone to Patton’s room in an effort to analyze the relationship, but he couldn’t bear to part with all the good memories. So, there he was sat surrounded by photos, gifts that Patton had kept without Thomas knowing, as far as Roman could tell Thomas and his boyfriend had the perfect relationship, so what exactly did Roman do wrong.

Every failed relationship took its toll on Roman in ways no one else could quite understand, while Patton encompassed Thomas’ emotions it is important to note that Roman is the romantic one out of all the sides, any of the ideas that Thomas had for gifts, adventures, or simple acts of love were all from Roman, so if there was one person to blame logically it would be Roman. He missed the companionship that Thomas craved, the comfortable silences that come with being in a long relationship, the late-night trips to get food, not all of the memories had to be big.

Thomas hadn’t been in many relationships because Virgil made sure to keep him away from heartbreak but when Thomas did fall for another, he fell head over heels. It became impossible for Virgil or Logan to keep Patton and Roman from having Thomas pursue this boy. Roman knew that Thomas was the type to love fully and completely and give everything to his significant other, but was it possible that Roman hadn’t done enough. As he sat amongst all the happy memories he struggled to find anywhere he could have improved, he must be stupid, Logan reminded him enough of how idiotic he could be. Every relationship toward the end had some signs that it was coming to an end or that one or both people were no longer happy if he couldn’t figure out what he did wrong then how could he avoid it next time or attempt to fix it now!

Roman finally picked himself up off the floor and decided he had to face the negative memories now, he walked toward the closet, knowing that Patton suppressed all the bad memories. They all knew it wasn’t healthy but how were they supposed to expose the epitome of sunshine to so much sadness on purpose? He approached the door knowing that it was going to be overwhelming, he put on a brave face and opened the door. Seconds after the door opened the atmosphere changed in the room, it was dark, cold, and hard to breathe along with nearly drowning in diary entries, tear-stained pages, photos that were torn apart and taped back together. He looked around and saw entries from some of the fights that Thomas and his boyfriend had, maybe if Thomas was more agreeable, they would still be together. Or was it possible Roman had made Thomas expect too much out his lover and now everything would be a letdown? He let the negative memorabilia consume him. What if he didn’t send that one text to dispute where they were going to eat, would that have saved this relationship? Roman was still searching for answers to what exactly ruined this relationship when it hit him. There amongst the stuff was a diary entry that had tear streaks, Thomas, and his boyfriend were no longer happy. The physical contact felt forced or wasn’t there at all, the plans were canceled more often without a reason, the text between the two had become sparse. Neither one of them had wanted to be the first to end it, they had both hoped to somehow be able to return to their happiness. Until finally Roman had forced Thomas to confront his boyfriend about all the differences between what their relationship was and how it is now. During this conversation, the two of them had agreed that something was different and this relationship was no longer healthy or fun it felt like work, the opposite of how easy it used to be to just love one another. Finally Roman had found it, it was indeed his fault, the turmoil, the breakup, and everything that had happened since. He had forced Thomas to confront his boyfriend when he should’ve just let them figure it out and return to their normal rhythm. Roman had known that it was going to be his fault but he really needed there to be a different “villain.” He had become the villain of the bunch, he was the reason no one was happy and that there was no sight of happiness in the near future.


	11. Jeans-Analogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: Something is different about Logan, Virgil just can’t help himself. FLUFF

Logan has always prided himself in dressing in the most professional way, if he wore a tie then he had to pair them with slacks, no matter how much Thomas insisted that jeans and a tie were in style. Logan had lost himself in his work, not unusual, but he completely forgot to do laundry, so there he was standing in front of his nearly empty closet cursing himself. He owned possibly two pairs of jeans, actually, he wasn’t sure that these were his. He groaned closed his closet in defeat, he would just have to stay in his room today.

Accepting his fate of being stuck in his room until it would be appropriate to walk around in his nightwear, in order to do laundry. He had gone back to typing away on his laptop, working on something or other for Thomas, it probably didn’t have to be done for another week at least. Suddenly he felt that urge, the one that comes when Thomas summons them. Logan groans gets up from his desk and walk to his closet. He looks at the options before him black skinny jeans with rips that he’s certain are Virgil’s or dark wash skinny jeans. “Why do I only own skinny jeans,” he groaned internally. He finally decided that the black skinny jeans would make him look too much like Virgil so he grabbed the dark wash jeans. Logan was still very skeptical that Thomas, had any knowledge of fashion let alone that a tie looked good with *shudders* jeans. He opted for a fitted t-shirt instead. He gave himself a once over in the mirror and groaned, he was not prepared to deal with the judging looks.

Logan appeared and looked around at the others, he was the last one to appear. Virgil looked at the logical side and said, “You alright, there teach?” Logan rolled his eyes, “I appeared to have lost time while working this week, and seemed to have forgotten to do laundry.” The other sides chuckled, not surprised that the logical side, had forgotten about laundry. Thomas just shook his head, “Logan you know I told you, you could wear jeans with a tie, right?” Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, “Thomas considering that you wear the same five shirts every year. I do not trust your fashion advice. Can we just get to your inevitable dilemma?” With that, they continued on with Thomas’ video.

Once finished the sides returned to the mindspace. Roman and Patton were starving so they went to the kitchen to make dinner. Logan was heading back to his room when Virgil stopped him in the hallway. He tapped on the logical sides’ arm, “Hey Logan, I dig the jeans,” he smirked and started to walk away. Logan just stood there looking after the anxious side, he was flustered. How was he supposed to deal with this compliment? Logan grabbed Virgil’s arm and brought him back, he pinned him to the wall. Logan still wasn’t really thinking clearly but, “How am I supposed to respond to such a compliment?” Virgil chuckled, “Well most people say thank you, or give a compliment back.” Logan blushed, “Well then I guess I should thank you for your nice compliment. However, do not expect this to be a regular occurrence.” Virgil’s face fell slightly, “Well that’s a shame teach because they are very flattering,” with that Virgil winked at Logan and walked away. 

Logan was still very confused, unsure of what the events of today actually meant. He decided not to overthink it. The compliment that Virgil gave him made his stomach do small flips, and he decided that whatever this feeling was it wasn’t entirely bad. He made a mental note to wear jeans more often, or at least sometimes. He secretly wondered if wearing sweatpants would get a reaction out of the anxious trait as well. Logan would have to test that theory one day, but for now, he was content knowing that Virgil noticed the way he looked and liked it. Now Logan would never change his entire wardrobe but if wearing jeans or something out of his normal attire would make him feel this wonderful feeling then he would experiment. If you asked him he would say it’s purely for science, in order to understand this feeling he would wear an outfit once a week that was more laid back.


	12. Hidden Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: Virgil has existed for a long time but never showed himself to the others or Thomas until Taking on Anxiety video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Self-loathing, anxiety, isolation, self-depreciation 
> 
> A/N: I’m sorry if some of this sounds familiar, I used some of my writing from Loved to Villain, I’m sorry, creativity is not my department.

Virgil had always existed well to an extent, he appeared first when Thomas was around six but at that time he was fear rather than anxiety, it was nothing too dark and sinister but rather monsters in the closet or he would influence Thomas to run up the stairs after having turned off the basement light for fear of something being down there.

He was the only one of the sides to have completely changed as Thomas matured. He could sense the shift as Thomas got older, originally, he kept Thomas from doing dangerous things like climbing trees, but as Thomas became a teenager the more fear Virgil had to be in control of, it had become a full-time job, the main thing Virgil struggled with and by an extension Thomas was fear of rejection.

Virgil’s fear of rejection had outweighed his fear of loneliness, and therefore to keep himself safe he remained in his room at all times. The good thing about being an aspect of Thomas and not in the real world is that anything he wanted within reason, food, and any other necessities to sustain life could be summoned with just a thought, which meant there was never truly a reason to leave. Thomas had always been an introvert so the other three were not too worried by his refusal to leave his room or his feelings that came up when he was put in social situations. Virgil was the reason for Thomas’ social anxiety but no one would know. Roman and Patton had come to believe that it was Logan’s fault, due to his introverted personality and the general need to study in order to do well in school. It only made sense that Logic would keep Thomas from doing stupid things that could get him hurt as well as cause Thomas to have uneasiness about social interactions since humans could have infinite reactions in certain situations that Logan couldn’t possibly foresee every outcome, it was this variability that the other two had known would have to be Logan’s undoing.

Roman, Patton, and Logan had always been intrigued by the fourth door in their hallway but they had chalked it up to awaiting the appearance of a new aspect of Thomas as he matured, it had never occurred to them that it might be inhabited. Everyone assumed that Patton would be the curious one but in actuality Patton was curious but he was also very patient. While Logan, on the other hand, had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and knowing the answer to everything, which fueled his curiosity, although he would say that anything he did was purely for science and learning rather than to fuel his ego. One-day Logan’s curiosity had gotten the best of him and he approached the door, he looked down the hallway to make sure that no one was watching, since he knew what he was doing was wrong; he wouldn’t want anyone looking around his room when he was absent. He put his hand on the doorknob and oddly enough it was unlocked, how strange he thought. He pushed the door open and walked in only to enough to take in the room as a whole, it was immediately cold and dark compared to the hallway. The way this room made Logan feel was bordering on fear, he noticed that the room contained some of the more sinister things like spiders and some of the darker Disney films. He wondered since this room seemed to make Logan afraid and possibly encompassed some of Thomas’ fear if perhaps Roman had created this room to deal with Thomas’ nightmare in a healthy way, he’d have to commend Roman, but that would just make him more incorrigible, so he thought better of it, also if paid Roman a compliment on the room then people would know he went in and he’d never hear the end of it. Logan recognized that there wasn’t a lot to be learned in this room so he decided to return to his own. Virgil had gotten lucky he heard the doorknob rattle before it had turned and managed to get under the bed quickly before being found. From then on he made sure to always lock his, he was not prepared to deal with others, he was certain they would hate him.

Thomas had started to create YouTube videos, much to Virgil’s dismay. He had tried to push Thomas into believing that no one would want to hear him for over 6 seconds or that none of his followers from Vine would want to switch to a different platform, but Roman and Patton had insisted that this would make him more interactive and he could showcase his creativity more without such a short time limit. Virgil had to watch this train wreck so he waited until Thomas uploaded it to YouTube, he hadn’t quite realized that all four of them were imperative to Thomas functioning correctly. If the other three were aspects of Thomas’ personality then was Anxiety also part of his personality, or was he different? Was it possible that what Virgil had read on the computer about Anxiety being a disease or a disorder was true, but then why would he also be part of the mind and Thomas, maybe he was just as necessary; Virgil knew he was definitely the bad part of Thomas, the part no one wants to acknowledge, the part he wanted to hide, the part he didn’t want to accept.

Thomas had uploaded two videos to his channel by now and Virgil could no longer hold his tongue. He had to end this madness, if that meant appearing in front of Thomas then so be it, these videos were so cringe-worthy, the jokes, exposing all the intimate details of who Thomas was as a person, it was utterly embarrassing. Thomas had started making his third video, when Virgil decided before the others appeared, it would be easier to only have to interact with one person rather than four. He sunk down and appeared on the stairs, waiting for Thomas to notice him. Virgil was beginning to get impatient with Thomas being oblivious and all this talk about how good he felt, he started tapping his foot. Thomas looked toward the stairs and jumped nearly ten feet in the air, “What the fork are you!” Virgil rolled his eyes, “You already made one fork joke today, let’s not add to this tally. It’s sad really.” Thomas moved to turn off the camera and deal with this interruption, “You didn’t answer my question.” Virgil was lounging on the stairs looking perfectly at ease, he had time to perfect how to hide any emotion thank god, “I’m your anxiety. I keep you from doing stupid things, like these videos, or at least that’s what I’ve been trying to do. Who did you think was in charge of uneasiness and general anxiety you felt?” Thomas looked thoughtful for a minute then answered, “Well I assumed Morality was probably in charge of the emotions behind how situations make me feel and that Logic kept me from doing things he deemed were nonsensical and stupid.” Virgil scoffed, “If either of those morons were in charge you would’ve been dead long ago.” Thomas had quite had enough of this persona, “I’m going to summon the others, to see if they know anything about you.” Virgil wanted to run, he was not prepared to deal with more people, the amount of energy he had was fading, after many years of not physically talking to others it was draining. Thomas summoned the other three but Logic appeared first and nearly tumbled down the stairs and on top of Virgil. Logan was frustrated that there was someone in the exact spot he had been in but decided maybe today he could switch, obviously whatever the problem was had to deal with this thing on the stairs. Logan picked himself up off the anxious trait and moved to the spot near the handrail, glaring at the newcomer for making him move, it was assigned seating! Finally, all of the sides were here, Thomas spoke, “What do you all know about him,” he said pointing at Anxiety. Virgil shifted uncomfortably with everyone staring at him, “Hey,” he managed to say while doing his two-finger salute. Princey, Morality, and Logic looked between each other, all agreeing that they had no clue who this new person was; then Logan spoke, “We were unaware that he existed. We all knew there was a fourth door but we assumed it would be a trait that came as you matured, you are still working on that so we assumed it was still empty.” Thomas nodded, this seemed to make sense, he turned back to the anxious trait, “How long have you been around?” Virgil grimaced, should he lie to make the others feel better, he decided he should tell the truth, “Well I first came about when you were six, then when you became a teenager I guess I sorta grew with you. Before me, Morality over there was in charge of your fears but as you got older and developed more fears and not really having a reason for it, it became too much for him. It is a full-time job keeping you from dying and doing things that would embarrass yourself, Sanders.” The others looked shocked how was it possible that this persona had lived with them for so many years yet no one knew of him. Morality was the next to speak, “Where have you been this entire time, kiddo?” Virgil squirmed at the question and the others prying eyes, “I had been in my room, that fourth door you guys noticed. I can summon anything I need from in there so there was no reason to leave. I’m only here now because I wanted to tell Thomas to stop posting YouTube videos!” Roman finally voiced his opinion, “And what gives you the right to dictate what Thomas does and doesn’t do, Dr. gloom?” Virgil flinched at the tone in the fanciful sides’ voice he was angry, “I don’t have the right. I just don’t understand why everything Thomas thinks has to be on the internet for the world to see! Should he really be speaking about his love life and what he is looking for to complete strangers, let alone thousands of them? I had tried to stop this YouTube video thing before it even started but my influence was outvoted by Princey.” Logan looked at the anxious side he tended to agree, “Thomas it is possible you are oversharing, maybe we could tone it down. Would that work better Anxiety?” Virgil nodded and then spoke, “In theory better would be he takes down the current ones, doesn’t make new ones and just stays in bed all day. I will settle for toning it down, now I have other things I need to take care of, this look doesn’t happen naturally. See ya losers.” With that Anxiety sunk down leaving the others to look at each other and start the video.


	13. Childlike Wonder-Logicality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: NERD FLUFF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: X-rays?

Patton was bored, so very bored. Virgil and Roman were out doing something, Patton hadn’t asked what they were doing figuring it was something between the two of them. Logan was somewhere around the mindspace, Patton just had to find him. He went to the usual places, the library, the common, he even knocked on Logan’s door, no such luck. It was like a game of hide and seek but Logan didn’t know. Patton had one more place to check, Logan’s lab. Of course, he knocked but there was no answer. This was nothing new when Logan was engrossed in a project he would sometimes tune out other noises. Patton had never been in the lab before, well that’s not true he had been in once or twice but only to drag him out to eat. Once in the room, there were too many things to look at, there was a Bunson burner that was heating something in a beaker, that must mean that Logan would be back soon. There were x-rays on the wall that Patton assumed belonged to Thomas, and people thought Logan wasn’t sentimental. Patton would admit that keeping x-rays of broken bones was slightly unorthodox and maybe a bit creepy but he knew this was Logan’s way of showing he cared. Patton had to chuckle at the sight of the “Pluto Is a Planet” poster next to the x-rays, Logan took Pluto not being a planet anymore very personal when it first happened. It took Patton three days to convince Logan to come out of his room and eat, and even then, Logan had some choice words that would make a sailor blush on the subject of Pluto, all of the sides knew better than to bring it up. The next thing to catch Patton’s eye was a microscope, the placement of it seemed to indicate that this was his current project. Patton’s curiosity had gotten the best of him and he had to know what Logan was looking at under the microscope. Patton approached the microscope cautiously so that he wouldn’t bump it or cause any data to be skewed. Once to the microscope he gently leaned down to look through the lens, he didn’t dare touch anything but he wanted to see more of this slide, it seemed whatever it was could move! Patton was so consumed by the odd specimen under the microscope that he didn’t hear Logan enter the room. Logan was aware that Patton could scare easily so as to let his boyfriend know his presence he cleared his throat. At the noise, Patton jumped slightly, turned around blushing deeply, “I’m sorry Lo, I didn’t mean to invade your privacy. I was bored and came looking for you but then I guess my curiosity took over once in the lab.” Logan chuckles, “Patton your curiosity is one of the many things I love about you. But if you don’t mind I’d like to also be in the lab when you chose to explore, for safety purposes.” Patton gives Logan a sheepish look, Logan is usually subtler in his affections towards his boyfriend so it is nice to hear “I love you.” Patton paused for a second and looked back at the microscope, “Hey Lo, what is on the slide on the microscope?” Logan was already smiling but hearing the love of his life express interest in one of his projects only causes that smile to grow. Logan approaches Patton, “Take another look through the oculars on the microscope. Do you see anything moving, in the field of view?” Patton was intently studying the slide through the microscope, “I thought I saw things moving earlier but I thought maybe I was just seeing things! Why is it moving?” Logan was smirking the surprise in Patton’s voice was enough to make him weak in the knees, “Well you see, dear, I’m conducting an experiment so I prepared a wet slide so that I could study the patterns of these water microbes.” Patton turned toward Logan, “So, they are alive?!” he asked shocked. In this moment Logan had never loved Patton as much as he did right now, the look of wonder and awe on Patton’s face made everything else in the universe seem insignificant. Logan looked lovingly at his boyfriend, “Yes, honey they are indeed alive. The slide has water on it to keep the microbes alive as well as some nutrients for them to feed off of.” Patton’s curiosity was growing with each explanation, “I never knew you could study something under a microscope while it was alive!” Logan’s heart swelled, “Well Pat, usually there is no reason to study something alive under a microscope. My experiment required living organisms because I wanted to see their lifespan and to gauge if this environment would be suitable for reproduction. Basically, I wanted to know at what level is it too low for the microbes to flourish.” Patton’s face fell slightly, “That sounds kind of morbid, Lo.” Logan chuckled, of course, Patton would think this was morbid studying the life cycle can be morbid but it is necessary, he cared about every organism even these small microbes, “It is actually the exact opposite of morbid, dear. These microbes are at the very bottom of the food chain and therefore if they die it will impact the entire ecosystem.” Patton nodded his head in understanding, “Let me make sure that I am understanding this, you are trying to see how much these microbes can withstand because humans are ruining the ecosystem and these are needed to sustain life?” Logan wrapped his arms around Patton’s waist from behind, and set his head on Patton’s shoulder, “That is precisely it!” Patton leaned into Logan’s embrace, “Hey Lo, can you show me more of your experiments? They are fascinating.” Logan is beaming, he can’t contain his excitement, “I would love to, Pat.”


	14. Virgil to Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> http://thestoryofme13.tumblr.com/post/166290255944/sakurahayasaki-thestoryofme13-availe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Self Doubt, Anxiety,

Virgil was feeling nostalgic and he sure as hell, blamed Thomas for that. While the others could relive happy memories was, all of the memories Thomas had that Virgil played a part in were cringey to say the least and rarely were they “happy.” Sure, there were those times that Virgil had causes Thomas to panic and expect the worse, then everything had turned out fine, but did those actually count as “happy” memories?

It wasn’t just the nostalgia either, he wanted to try to make himself better. After the catastrophe that was going to Patton’s room, Logan had to explain that while he still found emotions illogical, they were something that needed to be dealt with rather than pushed down and bottled up like Patton had been doing for so very long. Logan had gone on a long exposition about developing healthy coping mechanisms and that all emotions, negative or otherwise, demanded to be felt. The logical side had made it clear that each side is entitled to feel emotions that may not exactly align with what they represent. Logan was mainly addressing Patton but he made an example that could relate to each of the sides, “Patton, you are the embodiment of the heart but even the heart can experience bad feelings, for example heart break. It doesn’t help any of us or Thomas for you to hide your feelings.” Then Logan turned to Roman, “You are not as easily defined by your feelings as a trait, just because you are the ego and confidence, it would not be inappropriate for you to experience being insecure or scared.” Finally, Logan turned to Virgil, “While you are the embodiment of Anxiety there is no logical reason that you could not also experience and express positive emotions. I dare say that it would be even healthy for you to be happy about what you contribute or feel pride in keeping Thomas safe.” Logan finished his explanation and was content, “I have one more thing to add. If any of you are feeling these emotions that are foreign to you and would like someone to listen without judgment, I am willing to offer my services.” Hearing Logan validate all the sides, made everyone immediately calmer, recognizing that there was logically nothing wrong with how any of them were feeling, in that moment they were all grateful for the logical sides’ rational thinking.

Virgil had always accepted that he was not allowed to be happy or feel positive emotions, he was a negative trait, it did not make sense, but he supposed that if Patton was allowed to feel negative emotions then he was allowed to feel positive emotions. This is what lead Virgil to his computer to revisit some of the old videos, he wanted to experience something positive and maybe watching the others and Thomas learning to accept him would help him feel these positive emotions for the first time. He started with the “Taking on Anxiety” video, the involuntary cringe at seeing Thomas’ reaction to his appearance could not have been missed. Did Thomas really hate him so much, that his appearance was a nuisance? Virgil had to admit he was slightly overbearing in this video, but couldn’t they see that he was trying to protect Thomas? He had to admit that he was happy, Thomas had learned some healthy coping techniques from Lilly, it made his job easier. Something stuck out for him though was it truly possible that Thomas would be better off without him, Thomas had gone to Lilly looking for a way to completely get rid of anxiety, but that wouldn’t work at least not in this case, he was after all a part of Thomas. Sure, at the end of the video Thomas “accepted” that he had anxiety but everyone knows that was for show and he’d much rather be rid of Virgil. After that video he had tried to tone it down a bit to show just how important he was, that he was contributing just as much as the others. “Losing My Motivation” was a time where Virgil could show how vital he was to Thomas accomplishing things but Logan was having none of that, he just wanted to have someone to blame and Virgil was easy target since no one liked him anyways. Logan was always complaining about Thomas’ procrastination and in part that was Virgil’s fault because if it couldn’t be perfect what was the point. The shuffle on the

YouTube playlist must have been on because somehow the next video was “My Negative Thinking.” Virgil was quite fond of this video, it was a time when he got to work at full force without being reigned in, that was until Logan had to rationally think through everything, still this video was a time where he felt like an equal. Logan was logic, he wouldn’t lie to Virgil about his “feelings.” Finally, he had managed to get to the “Accepting Anxiety” videos, it was nice to see that while Logan and Roman may not have known how important Anxiety was to Thomas, that Patton was able to show them how they were wrong. He will admit that Roman’s comments about not liking Virgil, hurt but it wasn’t anything new. Logan, on the other hand, had just begun treating Virgil as an equal, for all that to be thrown into the wind was painful, at least he was able to see exactly what the Logical side thought when he didn’t have to keep up appearances. There was something about the second part that seemed off though, Virgil couldn’t help but notice how the others reacted when his voice changed, Patton looked terrified, Logan looked intrigued, and Roman looked indifferent. It was unsettling to see Patton look so terrified by him, how could he scare the only one who actually liked him, Virgil didn’t notice it at the time obviously because he was focused on protecting Thomas and the others there was no time to worry about what their reactions were to his growing strength from his own room. He was going to stop there but he couldn’t help it, seeing the others trying so hard to be accepting in the “Fitting In” video, gave him hope something he was unfamiliar with. Watching Princey try so hard to ne “nice” was entertaining although it looked like it physically caused him pain to say nice or indifferent things to Virgil, he appreciated the effort.

Virgil had enough of this reminiscing, even he had started to hate himself, which wasn’t uncommon for the anxious trait. If he hadn’t been so overbearing, maybe the others would have liked him more. Had someone told his old self this maybe it would’ve helped? He decided to use a coping technique that Logan had told them about and write. He wasn’t really sure what he was going to write but once he picked up the notebook and pen, it all just flowed.

Dear Anxiety,

I know this is stupid but Logan said this could help me with my feelings, so here goes nothing. Sometimes people talk over you, refuse to listen to your worries, or flat out ignore any of your concerns. Just know that you are doing what you believed was right, you were protecting Thomas. Roman can be a bit mean but he does have a point, you two are opposites, he is the one that comes up with all the impossible dreams, whereas you point out all the things that could go wrong, you have to keep it realistic to protect Thomas, he’ll understand one day. Patton would never lie to you about how much you mean to him or how you are an important part of the group, you shouldn’t dismiss him as easily as you do, it can be okay to accept praise and affection from someone. Logan, well we are even now still trying to figure him out, he appreciates that you think things through and that you can see things from his perspective, but he will probably still say things to hurt you, not on purpose. He can’t always see the pain his words can inflict on others. Even Thomas learns to accept you and embrace you as a valued part, he just never realized how important you were when it came to decision making, he tries really hard to make sure you are okay, comfortable, and even happy. You may have always felt like the bad guy and that no one would ever love you, but look at where we are now. You have a family, a support system, who cares for you unconditionally. Nothing you could do would ruin this, they still don’t always listen to your concerns but you are heard. We are kept in the loop, invited out, even called on by Thomas ON PURPOSE! No one would have ever guessed that the “bad guy” could have won over so many hearts, especially not without giving up a piece of himself. We didn’t change one thing, well we did become more aware of our effects on Thomas, but we still are protecting him. I know this is stupid and useless and that you would never get to read this, but I know when I felt this way I needed someone to validate my existence and tell me of my importance. Things do get better, make good memories, allow yourself to be happy, allow yourself to be loved, and finally using Roman’s words don’t be your own villain. You have to love yourself before you can accept the love you deserve, it takes a lot of work but the support system you have is there for the entire ride.

Virgil

He looked at the paper and saw tear stains, he didn’t know when he started crying or why but he accepted it. The emotions took over he felt overwhelmed with sadness for his past self but joy about his current situation. He had so many reasons to be happy, most of them outlined in this letter. He decided to tape it to his mirror, to remind himself of his worth and the love he had. He would never tell the others but on particularly bad days he would stand in his bathroom and read this note until finally the voices in his head were quiet.


	15. Aggressive Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: Patton just has a lot of love to give and the others have been busy. FLUFF!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairings: Platonic LAMP?

When it comes to working on a new video Patton knows to not expect the others home until it is completely finished. Roman is usually the first to show up to help write the script and then the last to leave because he wants to make sure that editing is done exactly right. Logan was usually the next side to appear to help speed this process along, without Logan forcing Princey to stay on topic it would take one whole week to do just the script. That was a problem with Roman since he is creativity, once he got going he just had so many ideas that he would skip from one idea to next, never really fleshing any of them out. Logan wrote down everything he said in order to possibly have ideas for later. Once one idea was decided on, Roman would still have bursts of creativity that would cause him to stray, this usually elicited a groan from the logical side before having to reign Roman in. Virgil, on the other hand, would come and go, he was there during the script writing process to give his thoughts on how the idea isn’t original or how the fans expect more. You can bet that he was there during the editing process forcing Thomas to save every three minutes or preferably less and making sure that each transition was meticulous and seamless.

Patton was usually there for the script writing and obviously the filming, but the editing was boring, they would go for an hour without speaking. He didn’t want to be a distraction but he also hated having to tone it down so the other could focus, that’s usually when he would take his leave. He would go cook or bake so that the others’ didn’t lose their strength. Patton knew that if he didn’t deliver the food, no one would eat, they would lose track of time or their need for perfection would cause them to postpone their own needs. He hated when they got like that since they were all part of Thomas they definitely all felt the need to put out their best work and for it to be done in a timely manner for the fans. Patton didn’t understand the logic behind that, if the other and Thomas refused to take care of themselves then they probably weren’t functioning at their best. So, Patton would deliver food to the others and usually get a few mumbles of “I’m not hungry” or “There isn’t time to eat” usually followed by someone’s stomach rumbling, he’d just roll his eyes and tell them to eat please. After someone’s stomach growled that was the end of the discussion, then some mumbled “Thank you Pat” were said and he took his leave again.

Patton truly did hate being in the mindspace alone but this what was best he would eagerly wait for the others to come back, usually one at a time. It had been probably five hours since Patton had delivered food when Logan came back first much to his surprise. Now Patton knew the logical side was tired and not overly fond of surprises let alone surprise human contact but he couldn’t help himself. Logan walked through the doorway into the commons and was met with, “I missed you, Lo!” Logan was trapped in possibly the tightest hug ever given, “I missed you too Pat, but I do require oxygen.” Patton giggled and loosened his grip slightly, “I hate when you are all gone for long periods of time.” Logan squirmed slightly uncomfortable with the affection but figured there was no use, “I suppose it does take a lot out of you, hmm? You are by far the most outgoing and require other people to talk to or even have the company with.” Patton nodded and felt Logan squirm again, “Accept my aggressive love,” he said as he squeezed harder. Logan laughed and then coughed due to the tight grip, “Pat, I know you missed me but can I go to bed, please? I’m exhausted and optimal hours of sleep will be required if we must continue working like this?” Patton reluctantly let Logan out of the bear hug, “Good night, Lo.” With that, the logical side returned to his room for some much-needed sleep.

Patton continued to wait up for Roman and Virgil there was no way he could go to sleep without them coming back. Around one in the morning Roman appeared, Patton dropped the pencil he was holding and tackled the fanciful side to the ground, “Roman I’ve missed you!” Roman chuckled, “No really Pat, I would’ve never known. Now may I get up?” Patton shook his head, “Nu-huh if Logan put up with it for longer then you must too.” Roman laughed at the thought of Logan being in this position, “Fine, but I will amend this. I am a Prince, prince’s do not lay on the floor.” With that Roman flipped Patton over and now Patton was laying on the floor a giggling mess, Roman leaned his head down and rested it on the fatherly figure’s chest, he knew he would have to ask to leave again because Patton could stay like this forever, not that Roman was opposed. After a few minutes of this, Roman looked at Patton and said, “Well Padre, I must bid you farewell. If a Prince must slay then he has got to get beauty rest.” Roman gave Patton an innocent peck on the cheek and removed himself from their pile, offering Patton a hand to get up off the floor, then he left his room.

Finally, around three in the morning Virgil came home. Patton knew this one had to be more graceful and less overwhelming so as to not cause the anxious trait any more anxiety than average. Patton was sitting on the couch, when he saw Virgil attempt to slink by, “Hey Virge, do you want to come sit with me?” The anxious trait looked taken aback to see anyone up at this time but he went over and sat next to Patton. Patton turned his entire body so he was facing Virgil, the darker persona squirming under the undivided attention, “Virgil may I hold your hand?” Virgil nodded, he knew that for Patton and himself that human contact was key. Patton intertwined his fingers with Virgil and gently squeezed. Patton was content but craved more contact, “Virgil would you like to lean your head against my shoulder.” He hated that he sounded like Logan, asking about everything before doing it. Virgil shrugged but, slid his head over so that his head was resting where Patton’s heart was, it was soothing to hear something so steady and unchanging. Patton looked down at his dark strange son, “I missed you, Virge,” it was barely above a whisper. Virgil squeezed the hand that was still intertwined and replied, “I missed you too dad.” After a few minutes Patton noticed that the other’s breathing had become different, sure enough, Virgil had fallen asleep. Patton weighed his options he could stay there like this until he woke up or take Virgil back to his own room. He didn’t want to enter Virgil’s room without his consent so he settled for sitting there content. It was not often he got to snuggle with anyone.

Logan, Roman, and Virgil would probably never admit it but their favorite part about doing these videos was coming back home to Patton. They all appreciated what he did for them so much that they might as well return the favor with physical contact, even if it was slightly out of character for Logan and Virgil. This was important for Patton, and they wanted him to realize how valued he was. While it was weird the first time, now that this was a common occurrence after any video, the others had come to love it. They wouldn’t trade this fluff ball for anything in the world.


	16. The Dreamer-Royality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: Roman can be forgetful sometimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Forgetfulness, unworthy, crying, fear

Roman was always a dreamer, his thoughts would sometimes skip from one thought to the next without any flow. He was, in fact, creativity and therefore the ideas flowed like blood in his veins, this meant that sometimes other thoughts and things would get lost or overshadowed by ideas. Roman always has his phone in hand and while the others assume it is to take an ungodly number of selfies, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Roman uses the notes app on his phone the most. If the others saw the number of notes on his phone they would probably faint, every night before he goes to be he syncs his notes from his phone to his laptop, so they are safe, and he can start the next day fresh. On an average day he probably can create about 20 new notes, on particularly good days it can be upwards of 40. Roman knows that not all of these ideas are going to be great or entirely well thought out, but he has to keep them just in case. The ideas can range from a plot for a script, to a line for a skit, to just a general idea and sentence. The ideas that are shorter can be expanded on later if he really feels like it.

Considering the thought process, or lack thereof, that Roman follows it comes as no surprise to the others when it becomes very difficult for him to remember things like important days, plans he has agreed to etc. Logan had created an app that could allow all of the sides to create an event and then set reminders to go out at certain times before the event, this worked well until Roman realized he could just hit snooze on the alarm and continue his creative thinking. Virgil’s tactic was slightly more passive aggressive, he would leave sticky notes where he thought Princey was likely to notice them, but this didn’t work because then the sticky notes would just pile up. Eventually, his wall was full of them and he wasn’t even sure which ones were current at this point. Patton was more direct he would remind Roman in person then drag him to what he was supposed to be doing. It’s not like Roman wanted this, he wanted to be able to remember things on his own without help, he felt like a burden or a chore when everyone had to remind him of important things. He knew the others were trying their best to help, and he appreciated it but he could also tell that they were frustrated with his inability to remember.

Reminding Roman of things was frustrating for Patton, he wanted him to remember on his own. He thought that maybe it would get better once they started dating but boy was he wrong. Patton and Roman had made plans on Monday for Friday, and Patton was determined to let Roman remember on his own. He reminded him the day of, but very subtly, as in asking if he was ready for tonight. It took everything in Patton to not remind him once again as the time drew closer, actually, he tried to text Roman, but his text wouldn’t send. He had faith in his boyfriend to remember their movie date, it was after all to benefit Roman in learning a new accent. It was now seven o’clock and he was nowhere to be seen after Patton patiently waiting for an hour he finally gave up. Patton knew he was feeling hurt and that he was likely to say something he regretted but he wasn’t thinking straight.

Patton left the common room to go to Roman’s room. Patton was shaking, he felt so hurt and sad, but he could deal with that later now he needed answers. He knocked, hoping Roman wouldn’t answer that maybe he had a good excuse for not remembering. It took a little longer than normal but Roman answered the door, looking handsome as always. Patton, shook his head he had to focus, “You know that my sole purpose is not to remind you to do things right?” Roman looked a little confused but stepped out of the way, “Yes?” Patton stepped into the room not wanting to make eye contact with Roma for fear that he would cry, “Didn’t you have something you were supposed to do tonight?” Roman paled, “Oh my god! How can I be this stupid!” Patton turned around and face Roman, “I will not argue with you on that point, but answer me one question. Why are you like this?” Roman’s face changed from shock to anger, “You’ve known I was like this since before we started dating! I never wanted to hurt you or your feelings.” This was it, this was their first fight. Neither of them thinking rationally as every thought was overshadowed by emotion, things that were going to be said would be out of anger. Patton and Roman were standing on opposite sides of the room and while Patton wanted nothing more than to put all this behind them and apologize for being too harsh, this was something that had to happen. Patton was leaning against the wall, “Roman did you ever think that when you forget about things we were supposed to do together, that it makes me feel like I don’t matter. That maybe if you cared about me more, you would remember.” Roman’s heart broke, yes, he was still incredibly angry that Patton had called him stupid, but the love of his life thought that he didn’t care for him. Roman slowly walked to the opposite side of the room to be nearer to Patton there is no reason they should scream across the room, “Patton I could not possibly care more about you. I love you with every fiber of my being. I would do anything for you. To hear you think so little of yourself and blame my shortcomings on yourself breaks my heart.” Patton looked into Roman’s eyes, “Then why do you constantly forget about things we have planned?” Roman chuckled, mainly to keep himself from crying at the tone Patton used, “Pat, my love, I forget everything, all the time. When you are the physical embodiment of creativity it can be difficult to keep everything organized in your head. I know that is not an excuse, and I am not trying to make excuses. What I do want you to know is that I never forget our dates on purpose, and I never want to hurt you or for you to feel like my forgetfulness is because I don’t love you. When in reality I’m terrified that my forgetfulness may ruin the best thing, I have ever had in my life.” Patton looked on the verge of tears, “The best thing you’ve ever had in your life?” Roman stood in front of Patton and caressed his cheek, “Yes, love. You are the best thing that has happened to me, you make me feel things that I have only ever acted out on stage, yearning for the time when I would be able to know for myself.” All the anger that was in the room had dissipated it was replaced by understanding and raw emotion. Patton couldn’t take it anymore the distance between the two of them was too much, even though it was only a foot at most. He removed himself from the wall and tackled Roman with a hug, “Thank you, Ro! I hate fighting with you, but I had to be heard.” Roman shook his head, “I would never ask you to hide your feelings or worries, I want you to be comfortable enough to share everything with me.” From there the two conjured up a large bean bag and a TV, then watched the movie in Roman’s room.

It hadn’t occurred to either of them that before tonight neither of them had ever said: “I love you.” They had both felt it for a while now but were worried about how the other would feel or if they were moving too fast. It took one large fight and a lot of honesty, but it was all true. They were in love, and neither one was willing to give up on the other just because of a few flaws. Both of them were adults, they would talk about their fears, worries, goals, and everything. Roman and Patton were a team, they would tackle the world together knowing that the other always had their back.


	17. Applying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: The sides are helping Thomas with this new chapter and support one another. This was supposed to be fluff but then Roman happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, self-doubt, self-hate, low self- esteem, a new chapter in life?, throwing things, fear (PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THERE ARE MORE!)
> 
> A/N: I don’t know if this will work but I’m trying. This something I’m currently dealing with and writing is a coping mechanism.
> 
> Pairings: Platonic or Romantic Royality and Platonic Analogical, also just general Platonic LAMP

No one was ready for this new chapter yet but Logan and Roman assured them it would all be okay and that change was inevitable. Roman was thinking of Graduate school as a new adventure, to meet new people and experience new things, while Logan was thinking of all the new thing to learn. That was the thing about college in general but especially graduate school, you are able to pursue those classes that actually appeal to you.

Logan, Thomas, and Virgil had worked extremely hard to perfect the application. Roman and Patton helped write the personal statement. Thomas hated talking about himself, but Roman knew it had to be done and that as the ego he would probably be best. The problem is that Roman has low self-esteem so pointing out all the good things often gets overshadowed by all the insecurities and things he failed at or could’ve done better. Only Patton knew about Roman’s self- esteem issues, although if Roman had any say, no one would know.

During one particularly bad day, Roman had shattered a mirror. The voice in his head had been overwhelming and somehow managed to float about the room. Reminding him of all the times Thomas had flubbed over a line, all the time's writers block laughed at his attempts to be creative, all the times an audition hadn’t gone perfect, those times when Thomas saw an attractive guy and tried to make a move but got rejected. All these things plus so much more, all boils down to Roman not being good enough or his fanciful dreams and outlook being too “romantic” that anything less than these dreams just brings heartache and failure. Roman had always prided himself on being the ego but today standing in his room shaking, he couldn’t take it anymore. All of the failures Thomas had ever made that were definitely Roman’s fault swarmed about the room engulfing him. Roman was very good at hiding all these things, while Virgil made self-deprecating jokes to cope, Princey asked for others to affirm that he is doing the right thing.

These insecurities rarely boiled over to his looks, but some days he had to ask the others for validation on his looks. These days were days that when Roman would look in the mirror that he would not see himself, he would see everything wrong and everything he hated about his outward appearance. He knew the irony of the ego not being able to appreciate the way he looks, but what was the point in trying to see if you looked good in a mirror when it was clouded by the hatred you have for yourself. 

This day was one of those days that his failures were both his appearance and his failures to Thomas, everything was closing in on him. He couldn’t think, breath, he grabbed for something/ anything that would give him some control. He reached around blindly found something and he threw it. He knew this was a bad idea but maybe if he threw it, the thoughts surrounding him would stop entrapping him. He wasn’t thinking about where he was going to throw it, he just threw it and then heard the shattering of glass. He fell to the floor, began crying and then he laughed there was something so funny about his blind throwing and it demolishing the only mirror in his room, poetic justice. He heard his door open, he assumed it was probably Logan or Virgil telling him to keep it down. He couldn’t bring himself to face the new entrant, “I promise I’ll keep it down,” he said. Then to his surprise a warm gentle hand was on his shoulder and pulling him into the other’s lap, it must be Patton, he thought. Patton was now sitting on the floor with Roman in his lap rubbing small circles on his back. Patton didn’t know what happened or how Roman got to this point, but he had to help. Patton holding all of Thomas’ emotions meant that he could feel other’s emotions, he was an empath. The emotions from Roman that Patton could feel were strong and very negative. Patton spoke gently, “Roman I don’t know what happened or how I can help, but I can feel your emotions and I’m worried. How can I help?” Roman just shrugged, “I don’t know if anyone can help.” Patton started tearing up at how helpless and defeated Princey sounded, so he did what he hoped would help. Patton lifted Roman’s face to make eye contact with the distraught side, “Ro, look at me. I know this is difficult. I know you feel hopeless, but I need you to listen to me. You are enough, you are valued, not everything you do has to be perfect. The little imperfections make us who we are. If you got rid of all the imperfections and things you hated, you would be getting rid of yourself and most of Thomas. It is okay to doubt yourself and feel inadequate, I would say its human. But Ro, you cannot analyze everything you do, you need to let yourself make mistakes, and to take everything one day at a time. Anything you have done in the past, is just that in the past, it does no one any good to dwell on our shortcomings. You said it yourself, we wouldn’t want to be our own villain.” Roman was sobbing now and he tackled Patton to the floor in a hug, “Thank you, Pat, that is exactly what I needed. It will take some work, but I need to learn to love myself for now.” Patton nodded his head, “I think that is a very good idea, Ro. Please if you ever feel this way again come talk to me. I will not judge you or think anything less of you. I just don’t want you to have to suffer alone.” The two of them just laid there on the floor holding each other for who knows how long, long enough for them to doze.

When Logan had assigned Roman with the task of writing the personal statement, Patton had tried to argue on his behalf, but Logan wouldn’t hear it. Patton was obviously worried about how a two-page paper of all the good things about Thomas would affect Roman. The Moral side didn’t want to push Roman, so he returned to his room, once he opened the door he was surprised to see Princey on the floor. Patton went and sat next to the fanciful side, “What’s up, Ro?” Roman was shaking, he had an outline of things they should point out for the personal statement about Thomas’ love for the environment, how it began, the fact that his theatrical performances would set him apart from others by bringing in a new perspective. Roman looked up at Patton, “Thomas is such a wonderful persona and deserves to go to any school he wants, but if I write this personal statement,” he trailed off. Patton nodded, understanding exactly what Roman was saying, “Hey, Ro, I’m glad you came to me before it got bad like last time. How about if I help you write about all the wonderful things that our host has to offer?” Roman looked at Patton in shock, “You would help me?” Patton’s heart shattered at the tone, “Of course I would help you, Roman. I may encompass all of Thomas’ emotions but I also seem to be the most optimistic, I can help point out all the good things about our host even though your insecurities tell you all the bad and that there couldn’t possibly be good things that you have contributed.” Roman had stopped shaking, knowing that Patton was willing to keep him from messing this up and letting his own personal issues mess with Thomas, made him feel content. The two sat on the floor and Roman conjured a laptop and with input from Patton, they were able to write the personal statement within four hours, while it may not be perfect, it was very close.

All the pieces of the application have been put together all they had to do was click submit. Virgil was very anxious about this part, all of them had triple checked each aspect of the application. Logan was the one seated at the computer and ready to hit submit, but he hesitated. Virgil’s pacing was making him second guess everything they worked on. Logan sighed and turned the chair around, “Virgil, please stop pacing.” Virgil stopped in place and looked at Logan, starting to chew on his hoodie sleeve, “’m sorry, Lo.” Logan got up from the desk, while the others were still crowded near the desk in anticipation. Logan walked over to the anxious trait, “It’s going to be fine, Virge. Thomas has got this, we have all done everything we can to help with this new chapter of his life, and this doesn’t work out we have other paths.” Logan placed a hand on Virgil’s arms, “It’ll be so much better once we submit it, so why don’t you come over and join the group.” So, there they sat Thomas seated in the chair now with the four aspects of his personality standing behind him all holding hands. Patton and Logan were on the ends with each of them gently placing a hand on Thomas’ respective shoulders. Thomas finally hit submit, and with that, the tension and anxiety in the room lessened, all of them greatly in need of a good night’s sleep.


	18. Come What May-Logince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concept: I was listening to the song “Come What May” by The Scene Aesthetic and I just ANGST! This lyric is what did it “I’m a mess; I confess that I’m nothing without you. And there’s nothing I can do to prove I’m being honest” but also let me add “All I ever wanted was for you to look at me and know I’m all yours"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: self-doubt, indications of betrayal, crying, intrusive thoughts, hatred.
> 
> Pairing: Logince
> 
> A/N: When writing Roman he gets a little carried away for you can blame him for that, I just do what he says.

-Memory- No one was home aside from Logan and Roman. Logan was reading his book very much unaware that Princey was staring at him. Eventually, Logan noticed but without looking up, asks Roman why is he staring? Roman is flustered and stutters "I…I.. Wasn’t..” At hearing the flustered Prince Logan looks up because nothing ever overwhelms Roman. Logan looks up, “Why are you staring at me like that” Logan had dreamt so many times that Logan would look at him like he currently was. Roman was looking at Logan like there was no other person in the world like Logan was the world. Roman blushed, “You can only be so dense, teach.” As he said this sentence Roman got up from his chair and crossed to where Logan was sitting and placed a sweet and gentle kiss on Logan’s lips. Logan’s breathing hitched and he held it barely believing that this is real. Why would Roman someone who could have anyone with his good looks and great personality choose him? The kiss defied all logic but he wasn’t going to question it, he would think about that later. Roman pulled away much too soon for Logan’s liking, “Do you understand now, Lo?” Logan nodded and pulled Roman down to sit next to him, they sat there enjoying the other’s company in a comfortable silence. Eventually, Logan had felt confident enough to lay his head down on Roman’s lap to read. Roman took this as an opportunity to play with the other’s hair, a few minutes after starting this movement Logan fell asleep. 

Logan would never tell Roman, that he was scared this was a joke and that he was insecure or that Princey could find someone much better so why settle. These thoughts could ruin what they had, Logan wasn’t about to mess up what he assumed would be his only chance at love. Had Roman known he would’ve put all these fears at ease and share that he too couldn’t believe Logan also chose him. It made no sense, he couldn’t challenge the other intellectually, what if he got bored because the conversation was not stimulating enough? Neither of them wanted to ruin something so new or wanted to show the other their insecurities and vulnerability, it was too soon in this relationship for that. 

So, they both kept these thoughts to themselves, assuming they would figure it out together and it would work itself out. Neither of them wanting to be the cause of their first fight or even possibly the end of the relationship because of their own insecurities. It was better for everyone if they kept these intrusive thoughts to themselves and bottled up. 

The present: Logan was sat in his room, he shuddered at the memory. How could he have been so stupid? There was no way that Logan could’ve been Princey's first choice. It just wasn’t logical, if anything it made more sense on why Roman did what he did. There was a knock on the door but Logan wasn’t feeling like talking to anyone so he ignored it. Then a voice from the other side, “Logan you have to believe me. I would never do anything to hurt you, never!” Logan chuckled, he may have fallen for that act the first time but it wouldn’t work this time. This time his emotions would not cloud his judgment, he was thinking logically now, and logically this made no sense. On the other side of the door came Roman’s desperate voice, “Don’t you trust me?” Logan stopped breathing at that question, “Roman I did trust you but you have proven that was a mistake on my part.” There was silence, it was uncomfortable, then Roman spoke, “I suppose I deserve that but it wasn’t what it looked like! I have honor, I would never, Lo!” Logan was flopped backward to lie on his bed, he was growing weary of hearing Roman try to justify his actions when he already knew the situation, “Just go away Roman, this is for the best anyways.” There was one beat of silence and then Roman said, “I know there is nothing I can do to prove I’m being honest, but did our relationship truly mean so little that you won’t even hear me out?” Logan was silently crying now, he had to respond but he knew his voice would give him away, “Roman…our relationship, meant everything to me, but somethings can’t be forgiven.” Roman was going to respond but he had no clue what he could say to fix this if that was even possible, so he walked away and went to his own room. 

Roman once back in his own room thinks about where this all began to go downhill. How could he have let the situation get so far out of hand? He knew better, he was hopelessly in love with Logan and he knew better but he did it anyway. Why was it that whenever something good in his life happened, he always found a someway to ruin it? It was as if the universe was trying to tell him what a failure he was and how didn't deserve happiness. If Roman was capable of ruining Logan’s happiness along with his own then it was clear, he wasn’t meant to be happy. He had hurt the person he loved the most and somehow, he didn’t feel remorse. It was difficult to say what he felt, but he didn’t regret what happened. He regretted that he hurt Logan as a consequence of what he had done because Logan deserved so much more than what Roman could offer. 

Logan was now alone with his thoughts, and oh god did his brain have a lot to say on the matter. Thought like, “You’re a mess why would he ever love you? You obviously did something wrong to cause this. You’re unlovable. You deserved this to happen for letting emotions take control of you. His love must have been a lie. You just weren’t enough, you are never going to be enough for anyone.” These thoughts and so much more had taken over his mind, everything he possibly could’ve done wrong to deserve this ending was flooded to his mind. He could analyze every moment of their relationship but it would all boil down to he was not good enough for Roman. He could relive every mistake he made in the relationship but that wouldn’t help at this point, his mistake had obviously caused this outcome. Truly the only logical answer was that he doomed the relationship with one mistake and every little mistake after that was just a nail in his metaphorical coffin. 

In two separate rooms they were thinking similar things, “This is all my fault. He deserves so much more than me. How could I have ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me? Could I have prevented this from happening? I deserve all this pain. This mess is a mess of my own creation.” Neither one of them would tell the other about their insecurities or how they only blamed themselves. Both of them would never wish anything bad for the other in actuality they just wanted the other to be happy, if he could be happy then maybe he truly didn’t mess up his life.


	19. “I’m bad at texting first, so I always end up hoping you will.” -Analogical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Anxiety, self-doubt, worrying,

Virgil being the physical embodiment of anxiety, would get anxiety from even small things and even after much reassurance. He and Logan had been dating for a while now, Logan knew even before they started that Virgil was likely going to second guess everything Logan did and said, he was prepared for that. 

Logan had become wrapped up in a project, losing track of time and engrossing himself in the task at hand. Virgil knew how Logan was when he was working on a project but he hadn’t seen or heard from his boyfriend in a couple of days. Virgil finally couldn’t take it anymore so he walked to Logan’s room and opened the door. He didn’t bother knocking, just walked in and confronted his boyfriend. 

Logan was sitting at his desk intently staring at the computer, he didn’t even hear the door open. Virgil stalked over and spun Logan around to face him. Logan looked shocked by the sudden movement and had to take off his glasses to readjust his eyes. Virgil was standing in front of him with his arms crossed, looking a little miffed. 

“What’s up angel,” Logan purred, just because he was engrossed in this project didn’t make being away from his boyfriend easier. Virgil flinched, he wasn’t expecting that reaction at all, “WEHAVENTTALKEDINTWODAYS.DOYOUWANTTOBREAKUPWITHME?:”It was like ripping off a band-aid, it all had to be out in the open. Logan looked at Virgil hurt that his lover could even say anything like that, “Virgil how could you possibly think that?” Virgil turned away from him, not trusting himself to look Logan in the eye, “Well you haven’t talked to me in a couple of days so I thought maybe you just lacked the courage to break up with for fear that I would abandon Thomas. So I thought I would do it for you.” Logan walked up to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist, “Angel, I would never want to break up with you, I love you. Why didn’t you text me?” Virgil just shrugged, “I’m bad at texting first, so I always end up hoping you will. When I say that I am bad at texting I mean that it gives me anxiety, I worry that I’m bothering you or that I am a burden.” Logan’s heart broke, he leaned his head onto Virgil’s shoulder so that he could whisper in his ear, “You could never be a burden or bother me, I love you. I never meant to make you feel like I don’t care, I just get caught up in what I am doing.” Logan turned Virgil around and placed his arms around Virgil’s neck, and placed their foreheads together. “I will never leave you, I will never think of you as a burden, you are my equal, my partner” all of this was said between small and sweet kisses on Virgil’s forehead, neck, cheek, hair, jawline, really anywhere that Logan could reach. By the end of the sentence, Virgil was giggling, “Alight quit that you big sap! You’ll probably still have to reassure me, ‘m sorry Lo.” Logan continued with the sweet little kisses, “I will stop when I’ve had enough! I don’t mind reassuring you, if it makes you feel more comfortable, I will remind you every day.”


	20. King-Logince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This fic will be based on the song “King” by Lauren Aquilina- specifically this lyric- “You’ve got it all. You lost your mind in the sound. There’s so much more. You can reclaim your crown. You’re in control. Rid of the monsters inside your head. Put all your faults to bed, you can be king again.” In addition to “count your blessings, not your flaws.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Isolation, bad days, intrusive thoughts, self-blame

Roman is having a bad day, no let’s make it a bad week. It started with an audition and just spiraled from there. The audition Thomas gave was average at best so no wonder he wasn’t cast, which was obviously Roman’s fault for not adequately preparing him for the audition. Then there was the fact that he could not come up with a creative idea for the next video, which was his entire purpose. God, he was such a failure! He couldn’t get Thomas the part he desired so much, nor could he help him with a video idea, so what really was the point.

These two things mixed with his insecurities that Thomas didn’t need him, lead to exactly where he was now. Roman had locked himself in his room hoping that no one notice, he surely wasn’t helping Thomas or the others at this point, so he might as well isolate himself. In the absence of having anything to do his mind was the devil’s playground with his insecurities. His mind practically yelling at him about his flaws and failures. “Thomas didn’t get the part. Isn’t that your only job?” his mind sneered. “Some creative aspect you are if you are unable to come up with a new idea,” his mind was practically laughing at his pain. Is this what Virgil had to put up with all the time, the never-ending stream of flaws and mistakes? If so Roman regrets every single time he made fun of the darker aspect because there is only so much of these thoughts that a Prince can take, he couldn’t imagine these thoughts 24/7.

Roman is laying in his bed on the third day of refusing to leave his room and his brain on a never-ending loop of hell. He takes solace in the fact that none of the others have come to check on him, which seems to just give his brain more fuel as it states, “You must really be useless if even your boyfriend won’t come check on you.” Now it is the same three thoughts that his brain plays on a loop. Roman feels as though these mistakes, flaws, and short-comings might as well be written on his skin if they are so easy to see.

Roman has made no attempt to leave the comfort of his bed since getting in it two days ago, but he is sure he couldn’t find the energy. While he knows that he must look disgusting, what’s the point in trying? “You look disgusting today? Ha, this is an everyday thing,” these intrusive thoughts would find anything and run with it. Roman groaned and rolled over putting his head under the pillow hoping to drone out these thoughts even though he knew this wouldn’t work, there had to be something. For once Roman was the one that needed saving, and no one was around to help him.

The faintest of knocks could be heard at the door. Roman put on his best voice, “Who is it?” The voice on the other side of the door responded, “Ro, it’s me. I was concerned. May I enter?” Roman breathed a sigh of relief before the panic set in. His boyfriend was here certainly he could help, but did Roman really want Logan to see him this way? After weighing his options and some very ugly thoughts he said, “I guess. It’s open.” Logan quickly opened the door and scanned the room for his Prince but it seemed empty until his eyes landed on the lump in the middle of the bed. Logan sighed, he’d never seen Roman this upset, and he hoped he was equipped to try and help his boyfriend. He hated seeing others in pain, that’s why feelings were the bane of his existence not because he hated them but because they caused pain to those he loved.

Logan walked to the bed slowly, so as to not scare the inhabitant. He gently removed the pillow from Roman’s head and laid down next to his boyfriend. Logan could barely see in the dark that was the room, but as his eyes adjusted he could very clearly see that Roman was exhausted. Logan reached out his hand and placed it on the Prince’s cheek, “What is troubling you?” Roman closed his eyes and placed his hand on top of Logan’s, “I feel so useless. I have all these thoughts that are telling me everything I’ve done wrong. Logan, I can’t handle it,” Roman’s voice cracked halfway through the sentence and tears were slowly slipping out. Logan sighed and started tracing circles on Roman’s face with his thumb, he was not the greatest with these kinds of things, but he would try, “Hey Ro, open your eyes and look at me, love.” Roman did as Logan said and was met with a sweet and caring gaze. Logan smiled, “Alright now that I have your attention rather than your thoughts you listen to me instead. These intrusive thoughts do not define you. You are in control of your mind. I know right now it seems that you are lost in the sea of thoughts that are telling you every bad thing, but you can put all your faults to bed.” Roman opened his mouth to protest but Logan continued, “Roman even if you cannot contradict all of these intrusive thoughts that are likely lies, I will do it for you. I will help you put your mind at ease and allow you to be in control. You can be king again.” Roman looked confused, “Logan we both know I’m a prince, not a king.” Logan stared at his boyfriend maintaining eye contact, “You may think of yourself as a prince but to me, you are a king. You are plenty strong enough to conquer all of the monsters inside your head.” Roman was crying again and this time Logan took notice, “Di…d I say something wrong?” Roman shook his head, “No Lo, you said everything exactly the way you should. You managed to pull me out of my own head and stop me from drowning in my own demons.” Roman leaned in to kiss Logan, which his boyfriend happily complied but he also stopped mid-kiss, “Ro, please when you get this bad next time. Come to me, please. If I have to make a whole PowerPoint of all your blessing and reasons to be happy, I will.” Roman laughed, this nerd was completely serious about the PowerPoint and that was the cutest thing. Logan made a move to get out of bed, only to be pulled back into bed with Roman whispering, “I’m king and I say we stay in bed and pretend that the world doesn’t exist for a little while longer.” Logan groaned and then laughed, “I’m going to regret calling you king, aren’t I?” Roman laughed and kissed the back of Logan’s neck, “Yeah probably but you’ll love every minute of it.”


	21. Things I'll Never Say-Analogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fic will be based on Things I’ll Never Say by Avril Lavigne. This will be based on just the entire song! But like yeah just listen to it and tell me you don’t picture Virgil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Kissing, anxiety, cursing  
> The fuck is a proposal?

Virgil and Logan had been dating for a year now. Finally, Virgil felt ready to tell Logan exactly how he felt. Logan had never pushed Virgil into feeling obligated to say things he wasn’t ready to admit. The logical side was a firm believer in people moving at their own pace, he never wanted or expected Virgil to change himself for their relationship, actually, he wanted the opposite. Logan had fallen for Virgil just the way he was so if Virgil were to change that would defeat the whole purpose.

Logan may not enjoy feelings and emotions, but Virgil quickly found out he had them and expressed them very bluntly. One night the two were laying on the couch enjoying a movie. Logan had noticed quite some time ago that Virgil had stopped paying attention to the movie. Virgil was chewing on his sleeves, one of the nervous ticks Logan picked up on quickly. Logan moved, to interlace his fingers with Virgil’s, hoping to ease some anxiety, “V, what are you thinking about?” Virgil’s whole-body tensed, how on earth was he supposed to tell Logan, how much he craved wanting to stay in this exact moment forever. Or at the very least tell Logan how much he cared for him and how he’d give everything to be with him every night. Obviously, Virgil settled on, “Nothing. What are you thinking about?” Logan hummed in reply, “Virgil, I know you’re thinking about something because you were chewing on your sleeve, but if you don’t wish to tell me I am not going to push you, only when you’re ready. As for what I am thinking about, I was merely indulging in the thought of you getting down on one knee and us getting married.” Virgil nearly fell off the couch at that statement, he looked up at Logan expecting to see that he was joking, but no he looked dead serious. Virgil couldn’t even bear to tell Logan what he was thinking when they were practically thinking the same thing. He felt horrible that his anxiety kept him from telling Logan what he truly thought, but Lo was fearless he saw no sense in lying or beating around the bush, so he was always upfront. Virgil turned so that he was now laying directly on top of Logan, “Ar…are you sure?” Logan cradled Virgil’s face and placed a kiss filled with so much passion that it made his head spin. Virgil had to break the kiss before he completely lost his ability to do pretty much everything, “Okay so you’re sure, good to know.” Logan just laughed and the two of them turned their attention back to the movie. A few minutes passed, and Logan could still feel how tense Virgil was, so he spoke up again, “Virgil you realize I was only half joking, right? For all, we know I could be the one proposing to you.” This time Virgil did fall off the couch, he was too in shock to move from this spot now. Logan leaned over the edge of the couch to look at his boyfriend sprawled on the floor, “God, I love you, Virgil.” Logan’s voice and face coming into Virgil’s line of sight were enough to dispel the shock, he started to crawl back onto the couch, “I love you too, but warn a dude next time you decide to be a sap, eh?” Logan laughed and opened his arms inviting Virgil to lie back down and cuddle with him, “Never that would take the fun out of observing your facial features.”

All of this had lead up to now. Virgil was stood outside of Logan’s room fiddling with his sleeves, trying to gather up the courage to knock. Virgil had known for a while that Logan was worth it. Logan was worth every ounce of overbearing anxiety coursing through Virgil’s body. The number of times Virgil had rehearsed exactly what he wanted to say to Logan would make Roman’s head spin. He just wanted for once to have his brain and mouth cooperate so that he could tell Logan exactly how felt. Whenever Virgil tried to tell his nerd about the future he saw with him and how thankful he was for such a great boyfriend the words just slipped away. He had so many things he wanted to say but it was like he was physically incapable but that would all end here.

He took a deep breath and knocked, he never considered that just knocking on the stupid door would take the majority of his courage. Every part of him was telling him to run, to abort the mission but it was too late the door opened and there stood Logan. He leaned against the doorframe, smirking, “I was wondering when you would knock, but I didn’t want to scare you, so I thought I would let you find it within yourself.” Virgil just looked at Logan dumbfounded, “Yyyy…ou, you knew I was out here?” Logan chuckled, “Yeah I could see the shadow from under the door.” Virgil looked at his feet trying to hide his blush, Logan knew that smirking caused him to melt, but neither could help that now. Logan reached out and placed a hand on Virgil’s cheek not forcing him to look up, but just reassuring him or his presence and love. Eventually, Virgil looked up and made eye contact with Logan, those eyes were home for him, he didn’t need anything else.

He took a deep breath, now or never Virgil. He placed his hand over Logan’s that was still gently resting on his cheek and started to get down on one knee. Logan’s smirk was gone and replaced by a look of shock, Virgil took pride in catching him off guard. Virgil was now down on one knee looking up at Logan with their hands still both on his cheek, “You know I’m not good with words, Lo and I never have been but I’m going to try. Every time you’ve asked what I was thinking, and I answered “nothing” I was probably thinking how much I want you in my life. I wish I was spontaneous and charismatic so that I could blow you away with my words or actions, but I am not. I’m just me, and by some miracle, you think I’m worth it. I want to spend every day and every night with you. I know that I love you and you love me, and even though my anxiety is telling me to run, I don’t know where I would go, you are my home. Would you do me the honor of marrying me?” These things that Virgil had decided were things he’d never say all came out of his mouth at once and Logan looked so happy, at a loss for word but happy. He kneeled down so that he was at eye level with Virgil, “I never wanted you to be anything different than exactly who you are. I know that expressing what you are thinking can be difficult, but I also know that you care for me, nothing you said was news to me. Even though you don’t say exactly how you feel, I already know because I feel the same. I would be very happy to marry you.” Logan now had one hand on either of Virgil’s cheeks, and he leaned in to kiss him. This kiss was different than any the two had shared before, it was vulnerable and intimate on a level neither could have prepared themselves for, it was mind altering. The only reason they broke apart was because of Patton’s cooing and Roman yelling, “Get a room you two!!”


	22. Sleep Tricks (Logince)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In one of my first fics I ever created I decided that Logan did yoga so I decided to bring it back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: innuendo, nightmare, kissing

Roman was controlling Thomas’ dreams one night when suddenly everything shifted, without his doing. The nice meadow Roman had created for Thomas and his friends to frolic in while dreaming, had morphed into something much more sinister, without Roman having any input. The meadow became a dark, gloomy, dreary forest, the rain came pouring down, with the thunder and lightning signaling that it would not be slowing down anytime soon. Roman looked around to see if Thomas and his friends were still around the dream, but when he found Thomas his heart dropped, he was sat on the ground taking refuge under a tree. He looked terrified.

Roman continued looking around for his friends, but they were nowhere in sight, he assumed the dream morphing had also caused them to be taken away. A good possibility of why Thomas looked terrified. Roman began to approach Thomas, in an attempt to talk him out of his worry but the minute he made eye contact with the other Thomas ran. Roman spun around half expecting there to be something terrifying behind him but there was nothing, therefore he must have scared Thomas.

Roman could not stand knowing that he was causing their host to have a nightmare, he was supposed to bring the good dreams, fairytales, and fantasies to life, not Nightmare on Elm Street. He sighed obviously he was the problem may be if he sunk out of the dream realm, Thomas would wake up. Roman was right once he sank out of the dream realm back to the mind palace, Thomas woke up, then proceeded to roll over and attempt to fall back asleep.

Roman feared that if he were to return to the dream realm he would just cause Thomas another nightmare, or possibly one much worse. He couldn’t just sit around being useless, obviously, something was wrong with him, to cause Thomas to suffer. Then Roman got an idea, maybe Logan would know what to do. He strode down the hallway of the mind palace to reach the logical sides’ door, and knocked with gusto, forgetting what time it was. From his spot standing in the hallway, he could hear a groan and the footsteps approaching the door.

Logan opened the door, looking exhausted, “Ro, it is nearly 3 in the morn…” The logical side trailed off as he looked at his boyfriend who stood before him, “What happened, Ro?” Logan grabbed Roman gently by the hand and lead him to the bed where Roman took a seat at the end of the bed and Logan sat on the floor looking up at the creative side. Roman shook his head, “I shouldn’t have come here. You need to be in tip-top shape for Thomas and that requires sleep. I should just leave.” Logan brought his hand up and interlaced it with Roman’s, “While I do need optimal sleep, you deserve sleep too and if something is bothering you so much that you felt the need to come to my door in the middle of the night then please, let me try to help.” Roman always thought of himself as a very lucky man but in this moment, he doubted anyone was luckier than he. His boyfriend was willing to put him before others, without knowing any of the context. 

Roman let out a long sigh, “I was trying to give Thomas a really nice dream for tonight, but without any warning, the entire scene changed, and I was no longer in control. I’m worried that something is wrong with me. Lo, I don’t want to go back, I’m scared I’ll screw it up again.” Logan nodded, there was no judgment evident in his eyes, only acceptance and love, “Well Roman are you feeling particularly stressed out about anything upcoming?” Roman thought for a second, Thomas had an audition coming up for a very prestigious role and of course all of the commitments and scheduling for the YouTube channel, “I guess, I am feeling a bit less glittery than normal.” Logan chuckled, “Glittery is not an emotion, but I get the gist of it. You’re feeling a bit more stressed and overwhelmed, and you think maybe that might be affecting your ability to perform adequately when controlling Thomas’ dreams?” Roman nodded, although a bit uneasy at the fact that Logan seemed to be able to read his mind. Logan looked at Roman thoughtfully, “Would you like to attempt a couple of the activities that help me when I am not feeling “glittery?” Roman laughed at Logan’s attempt at slang accompanied by the air quotes but nodded he was generally intrigued by what his boyfriend possibly thought could help.

Logan grabbed Roman’s hand and interlaced their fingers and pulled himself up off the floor while dragging the Prince behind him all in one swift movement. Roman allowed Logan to drag him out of the room and down the hallway towards the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, Logan looked at Roman, “Well I have a couple ideas that help me when I cannot sleep or am feeling less than ideal, if none of those work then, I have a last resort.” There was something in Logan’s voice when he said last resort that piqued Roman’s curiosity, even if all of these things did he work, it was now his mission to see what the final idea would be. 

Roman perched up on the counter, which received a playful eye roll from Logan, “So teach, what’s your first idea?” Logan was grabbing two coffee cups, “Well usually if I have trouble sleeping I make some chamomile tea, so I thought we would start there.” Roman cleared his throat and Logan turned around, “Actually I’m allergic to chamomile,” he looked down at his feet as if he were worried he’d messed up Logan’s whole plan. Logan sensed that the Prince seemed off by this admission, “No matter, love. I’ll substitute some lavender black tea. It will essentially have the same effect.” Roman perked up at this statement taking some comfort in knowing he hadn’t dismantled Logan’s big idea for helping him. Logan filled up the kettle and placed it on the stove, waiting for it to boil.

While waiting he moved in front of Roman and looked at his boyfriend, “Now will you get off the countertop? I have told Virgil many times, and I will tell you as well tables are for glasses not for asses.” Roman chuckled, “Technically, Lo, this is a countertop, not a table, therefore your phrase doesn’t fit here.” Logan shook his head and placed an arm around Roman’s waist, waiting a few seconds before he swiftly pushed the prince off the countertop. Roman landed on his feet but quickly turned around and looked at Logan, “You’ll pay for pushing a prince off his perch!” In that moment the kettle signaled it was finished, so Logan quickly strode over to the stove and poured the water into the two coffee cups. After the tea had steeped long enough, Logan added the correct measurements for his tea to be considered perfect. Once he deemed each cup a masterpiece, he turned around and handed Roman his cup. Logan gestured to the dining room table to sit, so both men gladly sat and drank their tea in silence.

Roman didn’t want to admit but the tea was actually working, Logan must be some kind of wizard. This was no time to admit defeat he had to know what else, Logan had planned. If that meant he had to stifle a yawn here and there then by god he would do it.

Once the tea was finished, Logan grabbed both of the cups and put them in the sink. He was hopeful that the tea would help, but when he returned back to the table Roman looked as awake as ever. Logan shook his head, on to plan B then, “Well the tea, seems to have done nothing to help you and your state.” Roman just laughed, “Sorry, Lo, guess it won’t be that easy tonight.” Logan looked at Roman and sighed, “No of course not. Nothing with you is ever easy. Alright, let’s go back to my room for the next activity.” Roman wiggled his eyebrows at Logan, “No Roman it is not what you think. Now stop with that childish nonsense.”

Logan turned the light on in his room so that he could adequately see for this next task, usually, this would put Logan out immediately, so it had to work on Roman. Logan walked over to his closet and brought out two yoga mats. Roman gave Logan a quizzical look, “Are we going to work out? Isn’t that supposed to wake you up?” Logan laughed, but Roman did have a good point, “No we are not going to be exercising, we are going to do yoga. It is a form of exercise but the poses we will be performing, are all poses that I have come across in my research. Although you do make a fair point, exercising can have different effects on different people.” Roman rolled his eyes and walked towards Logan, and wrapped his arms around the nerd’s waist, “If I wanted a five-page essay, I would’ve asked.” Logan laughed and Roman kissed his cheek, “Alright teach, let’s get started.”

Logan told Roman exactly what each pose was, then showed him how to do each pose correctly. He had a list of ten poses, but by pose three Roman was already about to pass out. Logan had started showing Roman child’s pose when he looked over and saw that the Prince was fast asleep on the mat. Logan laughed, he knew the tea would work eventually, he was just being difficult. He put away his mat and walked over to where Roman was sleeping, bent down and picked him up. Roman was a bit too heavy for Logan to carry all the way back to his own room so he settled for putting the prince in his bed. With a snap of his fingers, both of them were dressed in loose fitting t-shirts and flannel pj pants.

Roman had effectively taken over the middle of the bed, so Logan was given no choice if he wanted to have any chance of remaining on the bed during the night then he would have to snuggle, not that he was really complaining. Once situated with one arm over Roman and the other placed above his head, he breathed a sigh and to no one, in particular, he said, “This was my idea if nothing else worked.” Having another person in the bed was going to take some getting used to but, Logan wasn’t going to complain and if Roman ever had this struggle again he would gladly offer his bed as a safe place.


	23. Singing and Insecurities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was just an idea I was toying with in which Logan did sing in the New Years video but then never again so maybe Roman said something. The POVs don’t really make sense but uhhh. It’s 2:30 so yeah… This is not edited…. send help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don’t hate Roman and I apologize for making him seem evil in this fic! I am aware that he is not a bad guy! I had thrown out an idea in the discord chat and this was the only way to get it to work. Don’t hate me for Roman’s characterization!
> 
> Warnings: intrusive thoughts, singing?, self-doubt, self-hate, anger, yelling

(Takes Place Right After “A New Year of Lying to Myself….In Song!!)

Roman’s POV

Had Logan really sung that well? Was it even possible that Logan could manage to sing better than him? He was creativity after all if anyone should mimic Thomas’ angelic singing it should be him not Logic.

He had to go confront Logan, there was no way he would be shown up by a nerd. This would not do, Thomas’ fans could not believe that Logic was capable of also being creative. What if his fans decided that Logic, of all people, would be capable of creativity, and therefore would render Roman useless. That simply would not do in Roman’s mind, Logan was the least favorite. He should stay there or at the very least become a favorite without stealing Roman’s thing.

Roman decided to watch the video before he went to confront Logan. Maybe Roman was being overdramatic, he was known to blow things out of proportion for theatrics. Not that he could really help it, Virgil was anxious about everything, and Roman was very extra and flamboyant, it was just a thing everyone had accepted.

After watching the video once (uhhhh five times) he had decided that he must confront Logan at once. The thoughts in his head were making it nearly impossible to think straight (hahaha). The thoughts saying things like, “Wow if only your notes sounded as full as his. Do you project as well as he does? Nope, didn’t think so. His range is greater than yours. He’s making you look stupid in your own department.”

Roman was only good at one thing and Logic was trying to take that away from him. Logan had many things he was good at and no one could argue that he was unnecessary. Roman, on the other hand, people could argue that he was keeping Thomas from doing other things with his life by making dreams and goals so unattainable. Roman obviously didn’t do this on purpose but when he was thinking it was difficult to stifle the creative streak. In Thomas’ mind, the sky was the limit, anything that could be thought could be attainable.

By the time that Roman reached Logan’s room he was fuming. Common sense and a filter had gone out the window, replaced by hurt, disdain, sadness, and maybe rage. Roman didn’t bother knocking on Logan’s door. He just turned the knob and swung open the door, causing Logan to jump in his seat.

Once regaining his composure, Logan stood up to greet Roman but was immediately pushed back into his chair. Roman placed his hands on his hips, “You don’t get to speak yet. How are you able to sing?”

Logan shrugged, unsure if he was allowed to speak. Roman realized Logan was taking the not speaking thing literally and said, “Speak, nerd,” the emphasis and malice put on the word nerd would have made a normal person lose their composure.

The logical side didn’t miss a beat, “Well Roman we are all part of Thomas; therefore, it is only logical that we can all sing like him.”

Roman had already considered that earlier not really having a good reason or the filter to reason with him right now he said, “But you are Logic. You should not be capable! Nay, you aren’t capable.” Roman was no longer in control of the words that were coming out of his mouth, all reason and consideration for the other’s feelings had gone out the window. He would deal with the fallout from this later, right now he needed to get this off his chest.

Roman took in a deep breath, “If we ever do singing in a video again you might as well just duck out or not participate. Singing is much like participating in professional make-believe—unprofessional.”

Logan’s mouth hung open but he was at a loss for words. Roman chose now to finish his rant, “You wouldn’t want to embarrass Thomas, would you?” Logan shook his head but didn’t speak. Roman patted Logan on the cheek, “Good. Glad we could come to an understanding,” then he sauntered out of the room.

Logan’s POV

Logan sat in his chair for a few minutes trying to process exactly what had happened, but no matter what way he looked at it, nothing made sense. Was he actually a bad singer? Logically that did not make any sense, as they were all aspects of Thomas, therefore they should all share similar singing capabilities.

On the other hand, Roman knew more about singing than Logan. Sure, Logan could read notes, teach you about music theory, and music history, but objectively he was not sure about what exactly sounded appealing. Therefore, it is possible that Roman was telling the truth, maybe Logan’s voice sounded better to his own ears.

Logan vowed then that he would never sing on camera or in front of others again. The last thing he wanted to do was make the fans hate him more or cause Virgil to work overtime due to him embarrassing Thomas.

Obviously, he could still sing for fun in the comfort of his own room, there was no harm in that but singing for public consumption would be strictly prohibited.

It had been a couple months since Logan made this promise to himself. It was easy to avoid breaking said promise, until one day when they had to film the Q & A. Everything was going great until some fan asked what their favorite Disney movie was and for them to sing something from it. This ask was obviously just a ploy to get to hear Thomas’ great voice more or to impress Roman.

Logan couldn’t help but be nervous. All he could think about was Roman’s face combined with not wanting to embarrass Thomas was all he needed to execute his plan to avoid singing. Of course, the fans already knew he was nerdy so it would surprise no one that he would use his love of poetry to express his favorite song, he figured many of the fans had long since forgotten his horrible singing.

This promise could never be that simple though. Patton just had to start singing “All Star,” it was nearly impossible to not sing along to, nearly. Logan decided to go with the joke but to keep his promise and hopefully add some more humor to his character he decided to sound more robotic. It was common knowledge to the fans that Logan hated feelings, therefore, him singing in a robotic tone only added to the joke.

After that video, Logan returned to his room. It was inevitable that he would likely be put on the spot again and be forced to sing, he would have to come up with a different tactic. Then it dawned on him, he had a love of poetry and rapping was basically poetry set to a beat, maybe he could learn to rap.

This idea provided some comfort for Logan knew that Roman was not capable of rapping. He had stumbled on Roman trying to sing along to the Hamilton soundtrack and failing miserably. The words were too fast and Roman would get tongue-tied, then become too frustrated to continue then eventually give up. This idea was perfect! Roman would be incapable of poking fun at or ridiculing Logan’s rapping. Although if he did Logan could logically think that the anger and comments Roman could say could be due to jealousy.

Logan practiced rhyming with a thesaurus in hand, while rapping proved to be much more difficult than he once thought it was still worth it to be able to express himself without Roman being able to tear him down. Logan also practiced keeping the beat and different speeds by using the Hamilton soundtrack, but only when he was certain no one was around.

Then the day came when Logan was able to show off his newly acquired skill. Thomas’ next video was about originality and while a “rap battle” was not 100% original it was certainly different for this series. Logan was not the least bit surprised when Roman chose him as his dueling partner, it was difficult to hide the smirk that grew from knowing he would win.

Roman’s rapping was not bad, but it also was not on par with Logan’s skills. Roman had obviously been practicing and was relishing in the moment where he could make a fool out of Logan, but the logical side was not going to stand there and take it.

Logan’s vocabulary alone was enough to have beaten Roman, but that combined with the beat and the hand gestures definitely put him in his place. He was not going to brag or tell Roman that it would be better if he did not rap. It was enough knowing that the others, Thomas, and his fans all knew that he was better at something creative than Mr. Creative himself.

Roman’s POV

When had the nerd learned to rap? Even Thomas wasn’t that great at rapping. How had logic learned it and made it seem so effortless? There were not a lot of things that got under Roman’s skin but being outdone at something creative was one of his greatest fears and pet peeves.

He learned his lesson that day. He would never challenge Logan to a rap battle at least not before he was able to perfect the art himself. The nerd had made a fool of him, and he would pay dearly. Eventually, he would be able to convince Thomas to once again do singing as a bit, and then he would have his revenge. The robotic tone would not save him for an entire song.

From then on Roman made it his mission to convince Thomas to do another video in which they sing. While Logan made it his mission to avoid having to sing on camera at all costs. He never wanted to bring Roman more pain or make him insecure, he just wanted to show off his new skill.


	24. You're the Sun to My Moon-Logince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Logan wants to make Roman flustered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Kissing, possibly intrusive thoughts

Logan and Roman have been dating for a few months now. Logan only has one complaint; he hates how flustered Roman can make him. It isn’t just confined the large romantic gestures. Logan would melt from the smallest things like terms of endearment and affection. He knew that Roman persisted because of the reaction Logan gave. He had tried multiple times to hide his reaction but that only made Roman pester him more looking for a reaction.

Roman’s favorite way to get Logan flustered was with random displays of affection and with silly terms of endearment. Logan could be going through his normal routine when a pair of strong arms would wind around him and pull him into a hug from behind. He would immediately squirm to try and go about his day, but that would only make the fanciful trait try harder. Roman would lean in and place gentle kisses on the back of his neck, he knew this was exactly the way to reduce his boyfriend to putty. After a few kisses, he could feel Logan’s weight shift, signifying that he was going to lose his balance. Once, Roman had gotten this desired response he would walk away with a wink and say, “I’ll see you for lunch, starshine.”

Logan was already weak from the way Roman made him feel, the affection, and the term of endearment. Not every gesture Roman did to remind Logan of how loved he was, needed to be big but every gesture made him feel invincible.  While he has very few experiences with emotions he is certain that the feeling he has for Roman is love.

Up until this point, Logan had been unable to cause Roman’s confident persona to falter. Considering his lack of experience, it was very possible that he wasn’t expressing his love correctly. The possibility of him being incapable of expressing his love correctly had also crossed his mind. Maybe Roman didn’t feel the same way?

Logan knew that these thoughts were intrusive and possibly inaccurate but he couldn’t help himself. He had to make Roman feel the way he felt when the creative trait was around.

Of course, Roman knew that Logan loved him and would fight anyone who said otherwise. He was ever the romantic so dating someone who was shy about instigating affection took some getting used to. Not that Roman minded, he saw a side of Logan that no one else got to see. The side where Logan could be very sweet plan dates that he knew Roman would enjoy like the theatre, a movie night or just a nice one-on-one dinner. Roman knew that his boyfriend could be a little unsure of how feelings worked or giving public displays of affection, but if Logan changed these things about himself then he wouldn’t be the man Roman fell in love with.

After much thought and research Logan had finally found the courage to try and show Roman just how much he meant. Today, was the day. Roman was preparing lunch in the kitchen, while Patton and Virgil were sitting at the breakfast bar talking about something insignificant.

Logan approached Roman quietly, trying not to give away his plan. The pair at the breakfast bar noticed Logan taking extra caution to be quiet and abruptly stopped their conversation knowing that what they were about to witness would be far more interesting. They watched wide-eyed as the usually stoic and reserved trait wrapped his arms around Roman’s waist who was making sandwiches.

Roman jumped at the unexpected touch and yelped. Logan chuckled slightly and nuzzled his head into his boyfriend’s neck. His lips were against Roman’s neck as he whispered, “What are you cooking, my prince.” Logan could feel the flush creeping onto Roman’s face as he fumbled for words, “I..uhhh…I…’m..makingsandwiches.” Logan inwardly chuckled, seeing that he had succeeded in getting Roman’s confidence to waiver made him feel a sense of accomplishment. He nuzzled deeper into Roman’s neck, “Is this okay?” Roman is full on blushing, he never expected Logan to be this affection in public let alone with the other two sitting in the same room. He slowly turns around in the embrace and wraps his arms around Logan’s neck. Roman leans up to place a sweet and gentle kiss on Logan’s lips; he pulls away ever so slightly so their lips are barely apart and responds, “This is more than okay, my moon.” Logan looks at Roman quizzically, “I suppose that term of endearment is adequate considering you are my sun.” Roman shifts and hides his face in the crook of Logan’s neck. He’s never been out flirted, but there was a first time for everything and he sure wasn’t complaining.


	25. I Do- Royality and Analogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Patton are emotional parents as their son gets married.  
> Romantic-Analogical and Royality  
> Parental-Prinxiety and Moxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Anxiety, crying, kissing
> 
> This is based on this prompt from @logically-asexual (Patton and his reaction to his son getting married) and I wanted to write it for a while now because it is just so fluffy and I love fluff. This is a Human AU. Parts of this I used Skip to the Good Part by He is We.

Patton stood in the doorway watching his son pace the room. He fondly remembered how nervous he was when he was about to marry Roman. That day while one of the happiest in his life also was one of the worst just because he felt so anxious even though Patton knew he had never wanted anything else.

Patton knocked on the doorframe to give Virgil some warning that he was here, “Hey, kiddo. How are you doing?”

Virgil stopped pacing and nearly jumped out of his skin at his father’s voice, “Oh thank god you’re here,” he said as he ran over and nearly collapsed into his father’s arms.

Patton chuckled and wrapped one arm tightly around Virgil’s waist while the other carded through his son’s hair, “of course, I’m here, Virge. I am your father and this is an important part of life. You’re avoiding the question though; how are you?”

Virgil hid his head into Patton’s chest, “I am fucking terrified, Dad.”

Patton rolled his eyes, “Language,” he reprimanded,

Virgil shook his head a little and laughed, “Your son just said he’s terrified and you’re worried about my language? I am an adult!”

Patton moved so that both his hands were around Virgil’s waist and pulled him for a tighter hug, “Did I ever tell you how nervous your father and I were on our wedding day?”

Virgil shook his head into Patton’s chest, enjoying the comforting feeling.

Patton loosened his grip so that the two of them could walk over to the bench. He sat down and patted the seat next to him for Virgil.

Virgil laid down with his head in his father’s lap, being reminded of the times when he was younger and Patton or his Papa would read him stories.

A bright smile crossed over Patton’s face and he moved one hand to play with Virgil’s hair. It had been ages since his son had let him be this close. He knew that his baby was going to have even less time now that he was getting married.

Virgil wanted to tell his dad to stop but this was one thing that could calm him. He could deal with his hair later but right now he needed to focus on breathing.

Patton gently stroked his son’s hair, “The day your Papa and I got married we were a mess. Your Uncle Thomas had to keep us separate, because of the superstition….” His voice trailed off as he remembered the day fondly.

Roman had taken that exact moment to appear in the doorway, he chuckled, “Dearheart, I think you are mistaken. I was not nervous, it was just you!”

Patton smiled at his husband and motioned him over, “As I remember Thomas said, that you tried to jump out the window.”

Roman made a noise of offense, “Excuse you, Patton! I was not trying to escape the room. I was just trying… to get some fresh air,” he walked over and moved Virgil’s legs so he could lay on his lap.

Virgil yelped at the movement but shifted his weight to get more comfortable.

Patton rolled his eyes, “Sure Ro sure.  _Anygay_.”

Roman and Virgil giggled, “No, stop!”

Patton giggled a little, “Fine” he continued, “Supposedly according to your Uncle, Papa was pacing, much like you were and then started to panic and tried to go out the window.”

Roman groaned and blushed, “I really wish Thomas would learn to keep his mouth shut. Do you know how Thomas got me to stop?”

Virgil shook his head but not enough to lose his Dad’s hands in his hair.

Patton smiled, “Well Thomas came and got me. He had locked your Papa in a closet so he couldn’t leave. Then had me stand outside the closet to talk to him.”

Roman laughed, “I made a stupid joke about how I guess I was back in the closet and couldn’t get married.”

Patton shook his head, “I told him to stop being so dramatic. Then I asked him if he had regrets about getting married.”

Roman smiled, “So, of course, I told your Dad that I don’t regret this. You’re my all, you were my first love and last. I’m never going back, Pat.”

Patton moved his hand to interlace with Roman’s, “I told him that he was a sap, that I loved him, and I would see him at the altar.”

Roman squeezed Patton’s hand and leaned his head over to his husband’s shoulder, “Obviously we did make it and neither of us would ever trade this for something else.”

Virgil groaned, “You two are gross,” and sat up between his two parents, “do you really think I’m doing the right thing?”

Patton and Roman shared a look then Patton spoke, “Kiddo do you really think your Papa and I would let you marry Logan if we had doubts?”

Virgil blushed and looked down at his feet, “I mean…. I guess not.”

Roman placed his hand under Virgil’s chin so that he could at him, “We would never let you put yourself out there only to get hurt. While your dad and I are terrified of this new chapter in your life and the distance it would add between us it is important for you to be happy and we can both see that a life without Logan would not make you happy.”

Virgil’s eyes began to tear up, “You two know that we’ll come visit often, right? We aren’t moving states, we are staying close to home both our families are here.”

Patton leaned his head on Virgil’s shoulder, “Yes we both know that but do you know how long it has been since I was able to play with your hair or for either of us to tell you a story?”

Virgil hid his face in his Papa’s chest, “’M sorry.”

Roman wrapped his arms around Virgil, while Patton leaned his head on his son’s back then he spoke, “Sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for. We are your parents, we prepared for the day you would move out and live on your own and we definitely thought about the possibility of you getting married, but only if you wanted. It can be hard sometimes to remember that you aren’t our little boy anymore. That you’re an adult and ready to start the next exciting chapter of your story.”

Virgil couldn’t help the tears that were falling, “I—I love you. B—oth of you.”

His parents enveloped him in a hug both telling Virgil they loved him.

Once Virgil had calmed down a bit, Roman moved and mess with his hair, “My prince has got to slay for his wedding day.”

Virgil chuckled a bit and rubbed at his eyes, “Papa stop, you’re embarrassing me!”

Roman rolled his eyes, “It is your wedding day. I want you to look good!”

Roman and Patton started fussing over Virgil, to get him ready to walk down the aisle. While he tried to squirm out and leave so he could deal with it himself. His fathers’ weren’t having it though so they pinned him to the bench while they fixed his hair and tried to rid his face of tears.

* * *

They had finally gotten Virgil to calm down and look put together. There they stood Virgil in the middle with Patton and Roman on either side of him. Virgil wanted to run, but the hold his fathers had on his arms were keeping him grounded.

Any minute the doors would open and he would see Logan. The thought of being able to see the love of his life finally made everything worth it.

Virgil took a deep breath and both his dads leaned in and kissed his cheeks, gripping their son’s arms tighter on each side. He was sure that without his parents holding him up that he would surely pass out.

Then the doors opened and Virgil saw him. There was the true owner of his heart, Logan standing down that aisle. He looked so handsome in his suit, his glasses seemed to be a bit fogged. Suddenly the aisle seemed much too far. Instead of running away he wanted to run towards him.

Virgil’s breathing and heart rate increased to the point where he, was sure his Dad and Papa could hear it.  _When had they started walking_ , Virgil thought. But he was so glad they were, the closer he was to Logan the better.

Finally, after what seemed way too long, they reached the altar.  Logan was the grounding that Virgil needed. After finally getting closer to Logan, Virgil could see that the love of his life was indeed crying.

Virgil looked between his fathers and moved towards Logan, “Are you okay, Lo?”

Roman and Patton, let Virgil move towards Logan and both of them stepped back, allowing their son space.

Logan reached out a hand to Virgil’s check, “I’m fine. I missed you, V.”

Virgil laughed, “It has only been two days.”

Logan moved his hands to interlace with Virgil’s, “Two days too long. Believe me, I realize that this is illogical in the scheme of things since we have the rest of our lives but geez, V. I never want to be away from you again.”

The officiator cleared their throat, “If you two are done, would you like to start?”

Logan and Virgil shared a look and then laughed and said, “yes.”

The officiant continued with his monologue until it came to vows, “Alright, Logan you first.”

Logan looked at his feet and then back at Virgil, “I never believed in love at first sight because it is illogical, but Virgil, falling for you was so easy and simple that I never even noticed….” His voice trailed off as the tears started falling, “My life without you is something I would never want to think about. Luckily for me, I never have to think about life without my best friend. With this ring Virgil, I take you to be my husband, for better or for worse.”

Virgil’s tears were flowing freely now too, “L—Logan, you have made me happier than I could ever thought. There is no question that we both had to go through some things before we found our happily ever after. You accept me for me, all of my flaws and somehow you see all this good in me. With this ring Logan, I take you to be my husband, forever and always. Through thick and thin.”

Roman had to grab onto Patton to keep him from trying to reprimand Virgil talking bad about himself. He loved that his husband wanted to keep Virgil happy and make sure he saw the good things the other people saw, but this was a moment when Patton should not interrupt.

The officiant looked between the two men, “You may now kiss your husband.”

Logan looked at Virgil and took his husband’s face between his hands and brought him in for a sweet and slow kiss. They nearly forgot that there was an audience until Patton started to coo over the two boys.

Roman interlaced their fingers squeezed, “Starshine, please let the boys have their moment,” he said teasingly.

Patton let out a whine and turned to take Roman’s face in his hands, “Even after so many years our love still has as much passion and fire as theirs. All of their vows are things I know we both still feel.” With that Patton leaned in and kissed his husband, slowly and without shame.

Virgil and Logan turned around to look at the crowd. Virgil let out a groan, “Dad and Papa stop!! You two are being gross.”

Logan chuckled and wrapped his arms around his husband, “V, you knew they were like this already.”

Roman eventually broke the kiss to turn to look at his son and son-in-law, “Your husband has a point, Virge.”

Logan blushed and nuzzled into Virgil’s neck and pulled him close, “This is about how I thought this would go,” he chuckled.


End file.
